Proxo

A man left for a vacation to Jamaica. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail message. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory.
Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor dead. At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen: ''Dearest Wife, Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Your Loving Husband. P.S. Sure is hot down here.''

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Proxo

A guy phones the local hospital and yells: ''You've gotta send help! My wife's in labor!''
The nurse says: ''Calm down. Is this her first child?''
He replies: ''No! This is her husband!''

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Proxo

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:

"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

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Proxo

There were these two cows, chatting over the fence between their fields.

The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm."

The other cow replies, "I ain't worried, it don't affect us ducks."

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Proxo

Three rats are sitting at the bar talking bragging about their bravery and toughness.

The first says, "I'm so tough, once I ate a whole bagful of rat poison!"

The second says, "Well I'm so tough, once I was caught in a rat trap and I bit it apart!"

Then the third rat gets up and says, "Later guys, I'm off home to harass the cat."

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Miroh

After the first joke I just scrolled through all the rest.

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Daedalus

Congratulations?

Orochan

After your firs...( stops reading ).

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Miroh

Aww don't be mean. lol

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Calbiyum

G'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMMG'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMMG'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMMG'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMMG'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMMG'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMMG'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMMG'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMMG'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMMG'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMMG'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMMG'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMMG'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMMG'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMMG'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMMG'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMMG'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMMG'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMMG'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMMG'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMMG'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMMG'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMMG'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMMG'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMMG'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMMG'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMMG'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMMG'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMMG'ED EMMMMMM G'ED EMMMMMM

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