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12-14-2006, 01:53 PM
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"Hell hath no fury..."
Character: RIP Girls...
Server: Fuck EQ2, I already quit.
Posts: 3,566
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Seriously, this is my idea of Santa...
Deer Santa,
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I'v ben a gud boy all yeer.
Yer Friend, Billy
Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawncare. How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love, Sarah
Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they?
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
Love, Teddy
Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that up to come back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It's time to give up that dream. Let me send you some Legos instead.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love, Francis
Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're gay. I'll set you up with a Barbie.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love, Susan
Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor? Leave me a bottle of Scotch.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys?
Your friend, Thomas
Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China . I have a condo in Vegas where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song?
Love, Jessica
Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do. I'm skipping your house.
Santa
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Dear Santa,
I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE, PLEASE could I have one?
Love, Timmy
Dear Timmy,
That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a sweater again.
Santa
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Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house. How do you get into our home?
Love, Marky
Dear Mark,
First stop callling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window.
Sweet dreams,
Santa
**thanks Laqueta =)
__________________
Roll the dice, see if I'm getting drunk!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deson
...even I didn't expect so much fail. It really hurts my mind to think this volume of fuckup wasn't actually intentional.
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12-14-2006, 01:58 PM
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Amateur Porn Diligence
Character: Yerkich
Posts: 230
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Re: Seriously, this is my idea of Santa...
nice. Hell, I would much rather get Legos then have my parents get back together.
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12-14-2006, 02:10 PM
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Because I'm right.
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Re: Seriously, this is my idea of Santa...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yerknutz
nice. Hell, I would much rather get Legos then have my parents get back together.
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I DID get Legos instead of mine getting back together. Thank god. |
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12-14-2006, 02:11 PM
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Enhance your calm
Character: Rinion
Server: Zul'jin
Posts: 3,522
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Re: Seriously, this is my idea of Santa...
lmao. thats good.
__________________
"Before one can identify anything as "gray", one has to know what is black and what is white. In the field of morality, this means that one must first identify what is good and what is evil. And when a man has ascertained that one alternative is good and the other evil, he has no justification for choosing a mixture. " Ayn Rand
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12-14-2006, 02:16 PM
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"Hell hath no fury..."
Character: RIP Girls...
Server: Fuck EQ2, I already quit.
Posts: 3,566
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Re: Seriously, this is my idea of Santa...
HAHA me too Illum.
__________________
Roll the dice, see if I'm getting drunk!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deson
...even I didn't expect so much fail. It really hurts my mind to think this volume of fuckup wasn't actually intentional.
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12-14-2006, 02:24 PM
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Dark Lord
Character: Xede
Guild: Legion of Steel
Server: Kithicor
Posts: 1,054
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Re: Seriously, this is my idea of Santa...
i got that as a stupid bulletin on myspace...
__________________
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12-14-2006, 02:39 PM
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Enhance your calm
Character: Rinion
Server: Zul'jin
Posts: 3,522
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Re: Seriously, this is my idea of Santa...
so Ily cheated and took it off mysapce eh? jeez dont you people know myspace is for losers.
must be why i have one =/
__________________
"Before one can identify anything as "gray", one has to know what is black and what is white. In the field of morality, this means that one must first identify what is good and what is evil. And when a man has ascertained that one alternative is good and the other evil, he has no justification for choosing a mixture. " Ayn Rand
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12-14-2006, 02:44 PM
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"Hell hath no fury..."
Character: RIP Girls...
Server: Fuck EQ2, I already quit.
Posts: 3,566
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Re: Seriously, this is my idea of Santa...
A. Dont have a myspace and dont want one.
B. Dont surf myspace
C. I put a thank you to the person that I copied it from on our guild forum at the bottom.
=) It made me laugh and I thought I'd share.
__________________
Roll the dice, see if I'm getting drunk!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Deson
...even I didn't expect so much fail. It really hurts my mind to think this volume of fuckup wasn't actually intentional.
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12-14-2006, 02:55 PM
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Enhance your calm
Character: Rinion
Server: Zul'jin
Posts: 3,522
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Re: Seriously, this is my idea of Santa...
jeez so defensive. I dont like myspace either but its the only way to keep in touch with afew fag friends that seem to refuse to email me at my normal addresses.
Flee from the wrath that is ily!!
__________________
"Before one can identify anything as "gray", one has to know what is black and what is white. In the field of morality, this means that one must first identify what is good and what is evil. And when a man has ascertained that one alternative is good and the other evil, he has no justification for choosing a mixture. " Ayn Rand
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12-14-2006, 02:57 PM
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Amateur Porn Diligence
Character: Yerkich
Posts: 230
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Re: Seriously, this is my idea of Santa...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rinion
Flee from the wrath that is ily!!
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that was wrath? hmm, I must be desensitized by all the violence and sex in media these days o.O |
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