Looking for advice - Page 6

Daedalus · 06-24-2008, 03:21 AM

Your inability to read the OP, then your proceeding to give advice that doesn't relate to what the OP's problem is, is probably what people are taking issue with.

Seriously, if this is how you deal with mental problems, one can only hope you're fortunate enough to suffer from one yourself, then have your significant other try this bull crap.

Quote:

Get fit. Go to a gym together 2-3 nights a week. Go dance in a club at the weekends. Have lots of sex.

Assuming you don't already do all that, that is. If you already have an active relationship, how's about a holiday? Married? Go on a second honeymoon.

I'm just curious what it is you are finding hard. Does he mope around the house feeling sorry for himself? Does he often 'act' poorly? Miserable? Doom and gloom? If he's sat on his ass, get him up and push him out the door. Go do something - walks, bike rides, exercise, play fighting.

Does he lack energy, or is it all mental? Does it happen often? How does it affect you? I mean, how bad is it - mildly irritating, or emotional blackmail?

The sure way to get a guy to shape up is to go out and have an exciting time without him. Tell him all about it. Either he will man up, or he will spit his dummy out - if it's the latter, dump him.

I especially like that last little paragraph.

Can't decide how to help him, or he doesn't cure fast enough for you? Dump his ass!
As creepy as this is to say this, but Faabio's sarcasm is spot on, tbh.

To OP: Like other people have said, have him see a psychologist or someone trained to handle mental problems like this. Doubt this is a situation that you'll be able to "train" him out of.

Roxy · 06-24-2008, 03:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by damocles

Dear Velvenia,

Get out now.

It's only going to get worse. If it troubles you this much now, imagine what's coming down the road.

I'm sure your man has many wonderful qualities. It's a shame that his issues are going to consume everything you like about him like a cancer. If you stay with him you will eventually hate him and wish he would die from his imaginary illnesses.

You will probably feel guilty if you leave when he obviously needs help. Keep in mind that he needs help you can't give him. I'm not sure there is help for this.

I feel feel for you both.

Random Agony Aunt

damocles · 06-24-2008, 03:25 AM

That's the voice of experience speaking.

BTW, if you're going to quote me, don't alter my post.

Roxy · 06-24-2008, 03:38 AM

Alright. You have your scapegoat for whatever crap you need to vent. Keep it comming. Though, it's pretty funny how you can get all butthurt over a post that consisted mainly of questions...

In the meantime, I'll just clarify my intentions to the OP:

I had a similar experience with an ex boyfriend. I just found your first post a bit vague, so I thought I would ask you some general questions. I have no idea really what your situation is actually like, so I just wanted to get a few details (if you were willing to give them of course).

Honestly, it wasn't my intention to offend or make light of it. I certainly didnt intend for some drama fest to explode in your thread. I just got hit from all sides all of a sudden.

You can message me... if you like. But, meh... anyway, I think I better get out before it gets any more personal.

I was genuinely just trying to help.

Cya

Illuminator · 06-24-2008, 03:52 AM

Random Agony Aunt almost rhymes with Raggedy Ann. Just thought you should know.

Otis · 06-24-2008, 09:49 AM

Everyone should just be serious all the time, like me. That way we can avoid any altercations or misunderstanding in the future.

And for God's sake, leave that silly sarcasm icky-ness at the door, thanks.

Kin Meds tbh · 06-24-2008, 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Velvenia

So, I know this is pretty personal, but I've talked with friends/family and no one has ever had to deal with a situation like this. I'm hoping someone has actually been in this scenario, or can actually give helpful advice.

Situation:

My boyfriend has gradually turned into a pretty serious hypochondriac over the past few years. It got so bad for a while that he convinced himself he had a brain tumor and we had to get him an MRI to convince him he didn't have one. Then he later questioned the MRI and believed it to be incorrect.

What I am not looking for:

Someone to say 'just get him pills'. Because he was on a few different kind of anti anxiety meds that just didn't seem to do much.

If anyone has some seriously good advice, it'd be much appreciated.

Sorry for being a debbie downer, but I'm sick of browsing the net for answers.

Look into the underlying problem - short life expectancy for men in his family, that sort of thing.

Oizen · 06-24-2008, 01:51 PM

Alright I basically slept from my last post in this thread until about an hour ago. I've got my coffee, caught up on email, had some quick cyborz lulz on im (you know who you are). Basically I'm cocked, locked, and ready to rock.

It appeared that with all the ignored Roxy posts that as a team we might be picking on the sheit so, I decided to take a peek and to my delight I find exactly what I'd anticipated and is it just me oh is Roxy trying to play off that he is a girl? (pics or it didn't happen tbh tits or gtfo ...just sayin)

Fantastic way to start my trolling this morning though. Thanks... oh and I'm sorry I got all silly yesterday. Well kinda... It does a guy good to let loose every once and a while I can't wait to reread some of that stuff and catch up on today's exciting threads with my returned non-sleep deprived prospective.

----------------------------

In Roxy's defense: I will concur that going out and having a blast without your significant other, can and will sometimes pull their head out of their self centered ass but, only in thoroughly matured relationships will it be a positive thing and if you are completely justified in doing so.

I stayed out all night catting around town, I even got loose enough to let a friend convince me to play at their gig in lodo. (Admittedly I had brought my axe because they'd pestered me but, didn't think I'd actually do it.) Anyway what I'm getting at is I had a fantastic time and it was nearly as revitalizing as the sleepgasm I had last night.

When I strolled in around dawn I expected warfare with shock and awe. It was quite the opposite actually. I slept until midday and when I got up there was the expected stinkeye. She began to start into me about some niggly thing and I interrupted with... "So are you going to come out with me tonight or just stay home jealously moping again?" ... ... ...

That was our anniversary and things have been remarkably changed for the better since then.

I just felt like sharing, somewhat to reconcile for being such a twit to everyone yesterday but, mostly to point out that if you can't see into this future, you should be aware that this irritation is PALE in comparison to the years of loathing that will inevitably be your fate and the road gets no easier. These minor bumps are nothing to mention... if they were minor bumps.

If you are to the point of sharing, just be honest with yourself and admit that you've already made your decision and are just looking for reassurance and support. You won't change him. You don't want that control even if you were successful if you are looking for a healthy long-lasting companion. Honestly you are only empowered to make your own choices... and you have... now show some spine and stick it through even if it hurts both of you. It's probably the best thing for him, if you are honest.

-Dr. Oi

Roxy · 06-24-2008, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oisin

It appeared that with all the ignored Roxy posts that as a team we might be picking on the sheit so, I decided to take a peek and to my delight I find exactly what I'd anticipated and is it just me oh is Roxy trying to play off that he is a girl? (pics or it didn't happen tbh tits or gtfo ...just sayin)

This is a real gem. Not that I think i'ts even necassary to defend my gender to a random weird gamer creep, but I'm just curious what brought you to say this. It's kinda... odd that you would even say it. Whats the deal with you anyway?

The fact that you weirdos seem to wanna demonize me for some reason is almost funny. Seriously, though - what have I actually done wrong? I can't, for the life of me, think what the problem is. I can only assume you have fostered some kind of inbred in-humor in this freakshow section of EQ2Flames. Is this what all gamer forums are like?

This forum was okay for a while. I could get my drama fix and there is something to be said for complete free-speech. I got a few lol’s here and there. Now… thinking about it, it’s just seriously weird. Do you people ever take a step back and see it? Maybe you like it like this. Maybe I just didn't see it at first.

And you, Oisis, I actually liked you for a while. You made me lol once or something, don’t remember when. Now you’re just some boho kook who says weird random stuff. I find you creepy... some of the stuff you say makes me cringe, yet you somehow avoid getting pulled up for it.

I’m not sure how you have managed to creep under the flame radar for so long, tbh. Are you a local hero or something? Did you help some old lady with her shopping once? Work in charity? Give good cybor head? It’s a mystery to me why your novelty hasn’t wore off for more people. Maybe that kind of weird stuff is not so obvious in gamer forums.

/shrug

Faabio · 06-24-2008, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Roxy

This is a real gem. Not that I think i'ts even necassary to defend my gender to a random weird gamer creep.

Well you're a dude or you look like this...

I actually wouldn't be surprised if you were a merge of the two.