Revelation
This script was fond in the casket of Billy Mays when he was exhumed for anti-zombification treatment.
Electricity revolutionized the world when it was invented! Thanks to this brilliantly usable form of energy man has created countless wonders.
But now every one can enjoy the satisfied buzz of electricity in their daily lives thanks to the patent pending miracle of the the Electrall!
The Electrall is the gadget that does it all! This wonderfull wonder of technology can be used to power any thing and everything around the house, in the car, at a bar, in the bath and even do your math!
The Electrall can be used to electrify ANYTHING and EVERYTHING.
Boring every day items like your sword collection, pipe bomb making materials and even your pet rabbit suddenly become AMAZING futuristic marvels of science when upgreaded with the power of electricity.
Clean burning electricity can flow through almost anything, and its sure revitalize the most mundane aspects of your work. Got a floor that needs sweeping? Just use one of the 15 standard adapters that come with the Electrall to INSTANTLY automate the process. While the floors are getting clean and your boss thinks your working, your really getting caught up on your reading.
But WAIT! Why read that book on your own? When you call now, we will send you not one but TWO of these amazing products for the same undisclosed price as a single Electrall. Just give the operator your billing information and that book can read its self while your satisfied knowing you didnt pay A PENNY more than you would have for a single Electall.
So now when the kids ask for dinner, dont make a mess in kitchen, just pull all of your unsorted unwrapped food items into a metal container and Electrall!
Is the fun in your merrige starting to dull after the years? Just attach any of the FIFTEEN solid brass adapters to the Electrall that seem compatible with your partners sexual organs. Your spouse may have an aging reproductive system, but we GUARANTEE there is no nerve in ANY ONES organs that is to old or worn out to feel the satisfying tingle of a few thousand jealous of energy!
You never have to worry about finding a power source for the Electrall. The Electrall is compatible with ANY standard battery as long as its a 9v. It can also be connected to anything from a power outlet to a car battery with its extension cables(sold separately).
So why bother for a life thats only HALF electrified when you can the advanced life altering power electricty to EVERYTHING for just about ANY purpose.
Call now and not only will you recieve the secondary Elecrall, but will also include the Eye Socket adapter, the Fork Spoon and Knife adapter AS WELL as the Universal Handel Adapter with adjustable fit!. Never lift a finger to do a job around the house that requires a tool with a handle such a a hammer or a shovel again!
The anti zombie treatment didnt work tho cause his comercials are still on the air wtf
Last edited by Filth; 09-15-2009 at 03:48 AM.
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