This is an EXTREMELY long read practically a book, but donít worry if you get bored thereís pictures. I realize the length of this will undoubtedly work against me, but this has been happening for a very long time. And to be completely honest, this is the abridged version. If nothing else, at least some of you will have something to read during work
I realize most people might not even read this(I expect a great deal of TLDRís), or theyíll think itís retarded if they do. Because it is longwinded and it does come off both preachy and emo. But please try to read this before viewing the images and try to read it as you would a real story effecting people you know. Your wives/sisters/mothers/daughters/girlfriends/friends. This is serious and it is not easy for me to do. What Dakkota has done is not only terrible and demented, but very illegal. I kept this story to myself for a very long time. It is not a nice story. I know that what Iím doing will harm Dakkota. Even though he has harmed me immensely, I still do not feel right doing it. But Iím going to anyways, because itís not really about me. Itís about justice.
I have far too many pictures/screenshots so Iíve compiled a lot of stuff and put them all in a photobucket album that you can view here Pictures by Noxmorexfear - Photobucket
There may be some repeats and I compiled some of the blurry ones so that they were readable. It should be pretty easy for you to pick out which characters were Dakkota alts. Unfortunately, I did report a lot of really nasty all caps swearing, degrading and perverted in game messages at one point in time when my resolve broke down many months ago. I do not have screenshots of these since they disappeared once reported. I do not have screenshots of a lot of things. It didnít occur to me to start documenting some of Dakkotaís actions for a very long time. I never thought that I would have to do something like this. I wish I had so that I could show you some of the other things that he has done. But I donít, so throughout this I will try to only mention the things heís done that I can prove.
I use to play Showoff(Showoffx after transfer), a level 90 illusionist in Equilibrium on Antonia Bayle. A few days ago I reached the end of my limits and was forced to quit Everquest II. I thought that was it. I thought I could just forget what happened, be the bigger person and walk away. I didnít want revenge for what had happened to me. I didnít want pity or apologies or handouts. I didnít want attention or drama, I just wanted to be left alone so that I could be happy. But I realized even after all Iíve been through Iím still an idealist. I simply cannot walk away and allow what Dakkota has done to go unpunished. It is about justice, regardless of how this may come off. People should not be able to get away with the terrible things theyíve done. They will only do them again.
The fact that Dakkota is just sitting there playing eq2, posting on flames, talking to all his friends, having a grand old time like nothing happened. Thatís wrong. The fact that I find myself sitting here, forced out of a game that I loved and a guild I was proud to be in, because I didnít want to endure the things he was doing to me any longer. Thatís wrong. The fact that he has done this to me and many others without a single repercussion, is very very very wrong. Because he will not stop and apparently no one else cares enough to make him stop. Iíve never been this mistreated before by anyone and itís not in me to just let it happen. It took me quitting and finally freeing myself from the situation to realize that while I may not have had the guts to stand up for myself, I can most certainly do it for the other people he will harm in the future.
Iím not a PC gamer, this is my first real online game and the sociology of it all confuses me greatly. The real world rules donít seem to apply online. In the real world if you see a woman getting threatened, slapped around, degraded, harassed, or stalkedÖ you do something about it. Immediately. You donít ignore it. You donít accuse the woman of causing it. You say hey dude, what the fuck are you doing, thatís messed up, stop it. Thatís not how it works here. For some reason the males in this game tend to band together and attack females. They blame the females for the situation. They help the other person insult and mistreat them. They add more harm to the situation and it never crosses their mind to help correct whatís happening. This is not all cases and it is not everyoneÖ but it happens a lot. Hell, in a lot of cases the other females join in.
That was one of my hesitancies about telling my story. I fear that no one will care, theyíll shrug it off like some casual joke, that theyíll blame me. I fear people will laugh at this and justify Dakkotaís actions. Theyíll pat him on the back and continue to think highly of him. That he will continue to do this to other people and no one will care. I think he knew that and used it to his advantage. Thatís just fucked up. But I fully realize it as a possibility. I can see people saying things like ĎQQ moreí or Ďshut up internet whoreí. People that agree this is wrong will be labeled as Ďwhite knightsí and people that try to reverse it paraded as cool. Itís such a real possibility that this seems almost futile and hopeless. Trying to bring basic human rights into this odd world of mob mentality where everyone turns on one another sooner or later just seems like asking for more heartbreak. Even with the endless array of completely off the wall screenshots of things that most of you would never doÖ I fear all this will just end up backfiring and that would be pretty horrible for me. So Iím going to try to word this the best I can so that people can grasp the situation.
I donít believe in the internet being different than the real world. I donít believe you can say and do things online that you canít do in real life. People on the internet are just as real as people you see everyday. They feel just the same, they hurt just the same. Iím not a very emotional person. Iím very easy going. I can brush almost anything off. I always use to think people being harassed or cyberstalked or whatever was silly. Petty, boring, not a big problem. Not serious. But it is serious. I guess I had to experience it to fully understand just how serious it is. So onto the interesting stuffÖ
Dakkota has been tormenting me for nearly an entire year. Itís been a very interesting predicament because we were both in the same guild for most of this time. One of the main reasons that I endured what I did was for our guild. As much as I hate Dakkota heís a good wizard. I did not want him to quit, and I did not want to quit. So I tried the best I could to just deal with what he was doing to me. As youíll see, heís broken SOEís terms of service a million times over and I was well within my rights to petition the hell out of him. But I didnít. I opened the petition window numerous times but I never sent one. No matter how bad it got, I didnít. Because my guild needed him. In the end I realized all the time and loyalty and respect I gave that guild wasnít ever returned. It took me a few days to realize those bonds and obligations I held even after I quit, no longer applied. This morning I petitioned Dakkotaís actions.
Dakkota told everyone that would listen god knows what, because he managed to get quite a few people to literally hate me. I never wronged any member of Equilibrium in any way, not even Dakkota. Yet I had so much hatred directed my way it literally broke me. I couldnít believe the drama that goes on in that guild. I constantly had people talking bad about other people, and I constantly defended the other parties involved and tried to smooth out problems and get people to be nice to each other. But when it all came down to it, no one had my back, the jokes on me guys.
Now as far as I can tell, this is the most common story Dakkota was feeding people, it went something like this: Dakkota and I were a couple, or in love, or good friends, and I went down to Florida(I live in Michigan) to visit him. We fucked for a week and I went home. Dakkota got attached to me, fell terribly in love and was having a hard time coping with it. So he goes crying to everyone in the general vicinity. Saying ya Iím a sucker I fell for her, I canít help it. I know I get a little worked up but I just canít help it, Iím so hurt.
So he seeks comfort in others for his terrible misfortune and justification for his outbursts. And as far as I can tell, one particular person also took it upon themselves to then relay this story with even additional bias against me to a few other members of the guild with whom she knew on a more personal level. This is also fucked up. But thatís another story not mine to tell and this is about Dakkota.
Now why donít you all take a moment and think about Dakkotaís version of the story. Ask yourself if that makes sense? I wasnít here for most of his past dramatic history, but Iím sure quite a few of you were. Coincidence that he has these issues with so many women? Could all these females have somehow brainwashed him into being a demented and cruel person? Could we have really forced him into such misery that obsessing over us is okay, even our fault? I mean what if you were Dakkota, would you react this way? Would you harass and constantly demand things of a person you met for one weekÖ for months on end? How bout this, do you think a female would really travel all the way across the United States to fuck Dakkota? Some of you may not know what he looks like, so Iíll let you in on a secret, heís not very attractive. Not attractive enough to travel that far to bang to say the least.
But thatís his story. Thatís the only version of the story he wants you to know. And I almost let him get away with it. I almost took the hit and just said fuck it whatever. But you know what they say about a woman scorned. So hereís the real story. And oh what a story it is.
Iíve known Dakkota for quite a while. We were good friends, we use to hang out and run zones and whatnot. As I said before Iím not a PC gamer, I was unaware of the way a lot of stuff works in this environment and unaware of Dakkotas history for the most part. I assumed real world rules applied. I thought he was a little odd, but a decent enough dude and a good player. We spent a lot of time duoing zones, we started flirting and it progressed to picture swapping, then to nude picture swapping. Completely normal scenario in my opinion. I reacted to it how I would have reacted in the real world. I told it like it was. I told Dakkota flat out that I didnít love him or anything like that and we were just messing around. I told him this numerous times, because I could tell he was getting attached to me(this was a red flag and I should have paid attention to it but I had no idea what would happen, either way Iíll take the fault for that).
None the less I did meet up with him in Florida. But I didnít go down to see Dakkota. I didnít go down because we were a couple or I loved him or whatever other bullshit he was peddling. I had a trip planned to go to Orlando. Dakkota lives an hour and something away in St. Petersburg. I wanted to see Islands of Adventure, the new Aquatica park and Busch Gardens. I didnít go to see Dakkota or spend time with him or fuck him. I invited Dakkota along to hang out with me on my vacation, I thought it would be a good time. I let him stay at my hotel, I even paid for all of his tickets.
Yes I did fuck him. But it was not love and it sure as hell was not good. It was mostly out of pity and it was terrible. And Iím not just saying that. I dunno if Southernn had any better luck, but it was my experience(And he really doesnít want this shared) that Dakkota has ED. Yes erectile dysfunction. Dakkota was incapable of maintaining an erection during sex. He said he had to remain Ďfocusedí or somethingÖ Anyways. The whole trip was terrible. Dakkota cried the majority of the time, he screamed the rest. He freaked out when I told him not to smoke pot in my hotel room. He freaked out when I told him I didnít want to have dinner with his family(WTF?). He freaked out and started crying and I had to listen to this huge long dramatic speech for like two hours about how he knew I didnít love him but he loved me and didnít want to lose me or something and all his past difficulties with females.
Now donít worry folks, the red flags were going fucking ballistic long before this. But Busche Gardens is over in St. Petersburg, and Dakkota insisted on taking me on some kind of weird tour of his childhood and all the places he likes to go over there. He wanted to take me to some restaurant and some kind of garden and hold hands and walk around and all kinds of freaky shit. So itís pretty obvious heís fucked in the head and demented by that point. But Iím a good two hours away from my hotel, thousands of miles from home, in the car of a psycho, so what are ya gonna do? Iíve already seen him rage out multiple times and even throw things, so itís obvious if I tell him to leave me alone or take me back or go away, something bad is going to happen. I was scared. I didnít want him camped outside my hotel room crying for the next four days. So I smile and nod and try to pretend heís not disgusting and enjoy my vacation.
Needless to say my vacation sucked. Anyways I get back home and promptly tell him to stop flirting with me and sending me messages and stuff like that. That we were just friends and I could tell he was attached to me, but he needed to stop, it was weird etc. etc.
That went over well.
Dakkota went off the deep end. He started stalking/threatening/harassing me. Now the most common threat and the one that scared me the most, was that he would post nude pictures of me on the internet. In particular, on flames. He also threatened to send pictures of me to other people. Iím pretty sure everyone of you would be bothered by this if that happened to you. It would be pretty devastating to me. As I said before, I was new to all of this. I trusted this guy in confidence, to keep what was private between us private. Itís pretty fucking scary to know everything you entrusted to someone is now being used against you. By stating that here, and even posting this thread, I increase the risk of that happening. I hope that if it does come down to that, this site will follow its own rules, remove his moderator privileges, and ban him from the site for doing so. It occurs to me that if such a thing did happen I could in turn post naked pictures of him all over as well, but then that would just get me banned and probably make a great deal of you vomit. But even that would not fix damage it would cause me. I must admit, Iím extremely afraid of what kind of retaliation he will have to this. That was another big defining reason why I tried to just keep quiet and let it all blow over. But whatever happens, itís damage Iím willing to take to tell people the truth about Dakkota.
Now I know this is all long and probably boring for most of you or you donít care or whatever. But I really hope some of you do. I donít know how else to explain whatís happened to me and whatís happened to others without trying to put you all in my shoes.
So thatís all I did. I never said I loved him, I never told him I wanted to be with him forever. I never told him we were a couple. In fact I told him the exact opposite of these things explicitly multiple times. I never did anything out of line that I can think of. I befriended him, I flirted with him, I fucked him. Thatís suppose to be that right? This was last May, nearly an entire year ago. Before I ever joined Equilibrium. I saw him in real life for one week, would you dedicate your entire life to monitoring everything a person does that you met for one week? Is this okay? Is it normal? Is it allowed because itís on the internet? Because Dakkota thinks so.
Actually I donít believe that at all. Dakkota doesnít think its okay, Dakkota knows itís wrong. Heís admitted as much a thousand times over. But he knows he can get away with it. And he does, he gets away with it. I donít know if he gets his kicks this way, or if he honestly thinks he can force females to love him by stalking and harassing them. But either way he knows what he does is fucked up. Heís done it for a long time though and never had any kind of retaliation for his actions. Dakkota displayed some of his actions in public on numerous occasions, he would freak out in guild chat, made a post on our guild forums, screamed in vent and rage logged on multiple occasions. He was allowed to do these things. Furthermore when he acted out, people would make statements the implicated both of us. As if I had some kind of control over him freaking out. As if I caused it? Thatís what they said. Iím not innocent, I played my part. I made him do it. Really? Really? If someone gets murdered do you go up to the dead person and said they made this happen to themselves? This kind of shit blew my mind.
There I was, just getting publically screamed at and insulted and humiliated, and people I respected, people I was hoping would help me had the nerve to say it was my fault? Iíve never met a single other guy in this world that if put in Dakkotaís exact situation would act this way. His actions are his own, I havenít got a god damn thing to do with them, and the people in this game let him do it without so much as a slap on the wrist. Thatís the part of this community that I donít understand. Thatís the injustice I see and I wonder how people can just ignore it. Itís horrible. I put up with months and months of torment without so much as a word, constantly bombarded with text messages, phone calls, pms, in game mail and tells, for those people. And all they could do was accuse me of causing drama.
I never talked to Dakkota unless he talked to me. Initially I tried to reason with him many times, but after that I just tried to pretend he didnít exist. For long periods of time I wouldnít respond at all to what he said. Sometimes I threw him on ignore. I withdrew from the people in the guild almost completely in the end. I didnít play much outside of raids and I didnít talk to anyone. Yet everytime I logged in, people had been talking about me. They would ask me weird questions, like why I did something I didnít do, or if I was quitting for Halo, or Rift. When I missed raids for work, I would be accused of skipping them for all kinds of outrageous reasons, while everyone else seemed to be able to miss raids without so much as a passing comment. Where people got these ideas and why they would believe them is beyond me. I sure didnít tell them, and I didnít tell anyone else, so how would they come about that information? Why would they believe it? Why would they spread it? As I said before I never wronged a single person in that guild, so why did so many people suddenly hate me?
Well that would be Dakkota and his demented bias stories. See the plot thickens, because Gaige decided to become Dakkotaís little lap dog for a while. Gaige tried to get me to quit the guild. At least he told me point blank to my face his intent. He said something like Dakkota was a good wizard and if I didnít quit, he would. And he didnít want Dakkota to quit. He was cruel to me too, spread lies, emoted and said nasty things everytime I typed anything. Sent me retarded tells, the whole nine yards. But I canít really fault him for it, because I donít think he honestly meant it, thatís just how he is. I guess he got bored of this game though or his loyalties shifted for whatever reason as they tend to do, because I hadnít heard much from him for the past month. Frankly what he was doing was laughable compared to the shit I had to deal with from Dakkota. But it still played itís part and it still created even more oppression towards me. I never had any past issues with Gaige, so I still donít know what Dakkota could have done to motivate him to turn on me for no reason or why he would agree to do so. I guess it doesnít really matter.
So what exactly did Dakkota do? What is it thatís so terrible? Whether youíve looked at the screenshots or not yet some of them may need a little explaining. Dakkota did everything youíd probably expect of someone harassing and stalking a person. I received hundreds upon hundreds of nasty degrading terrible freaky tells and in game mail communications. I also received pms on numerous forums, emails, text messages and phone calls. He found everything he could about me on the internet, I got an email one day saying he was following my photobucket album(which I had to make private) and my phone number was mysteriously signed up for daily love text messages the next(I had to go to the phone company to have the charges removed). Heíd look up crap that I had posted online from 15 years ago and quote it back to me. Heíd recite shit about me that I didnít even remember about myself. It was unnerving. I had heard he broke into Southernnís email from someone, so I promptly took measures to protect as much personal information as I could.
The worst was the fact that I knew he was sitting at home Every. Single. Day. All. Day. Long. Just monitoring everything that I did. He doesnít work, He doesnít go to school, He doesnít do anything except sit at home all day apparently obsessing over me. I obviously tried to correct these actions, I turned off pms for message boards, I blocked my email, I changed my phone number, I made everything I could find about myself anonymous. I literally had to fill all of my toons mailboxes so that they could not receive mail because Dakkota would send me messages on all of my characters from his main as well as different toons I did not know about. And the split second that I would delete mail for a plat split, or open pms in case illusionists might have questions or feedback, I would get a message. I mean How? What? Really? I really honestly cannot have a way for anyone to contact me open? You really honestly check all of these different mediaís every single day to see if they work even though theyíve been blocked for months before? Thatís fucking dedication. And itís scary as hell.
Thatís just the beginning though, he would monitor my every move in game. I had an alt guild on Unrest, he would show up there a lot. He even created a new level one toon Iíd see sitting around camped out in there. I had to make my guild hall closed to the public so Iíd have some kind of sanctuary in the game. Heíd follow me around zones. Literally follow me, while I was questing. Not just oh hey he happens to be in Moors, but old zones. Heíd follow me to Lavastorm, EL, EF, the Feerrott. Iím not paranoid, it wasnít a coincidence. You can ask Syndarin. I showed him once, was like hey dude look at the guild window see me and Dakkota in the same zone, watch this! Sure enough Iíd zone and heíd follow. I ended up setting my alts to anonymous. He could follow my main because we were in the same guild, but with anonymous tags he couldnít easily tell where my alts were. So what did he do? He went around zoning into every zone doing /whoís to see where I was. It was fucking ridiculous. Why would he do that? What does he get out of it? Heíd do crazy little shit, like constantly throw those holiday fruitcakes at me, buy all of my stuff off the broker so his name gets spammed across the screen, constantly send me group invites, lon invites, duel invites.
Stuff you might think is funny. But trust me itís not funny. Not when it happens all the time every day. Not when you canít log in for two seconds without him in your face screaming at you, swearing at you, threatening you if you wonít be his friend. I couldnít even raid normally. Dakkota would send me pages on vent, I had to disable those. He would talk to just me in vent during raids. And he would scream at me saying things like ĎSHOWOFF STOP FUCKING SUCKINGí and worse. Not just casual scream. Full on scary as fuck, why the hell are you doing this to me? Screaming. All of it was just sick and cruel and messed up. Thereís so many things he did that I donít know if I can remember them all.
It was the little things that would creep me out the most though. The things that after a while happened so often I knew they couldnít be coincidence. Like him needing things, zoned into places, made stuff, that conveniently no one else but me could help him with. And all of the little creepy things he would do to get my attention.
Remember those aerial flight races? I logged in to check them out. Iím logged in for no more than a few minutes and Dakkota logs in. Coincidence right? Sure maybe. I start running some of the tracks and find out you can get achievements for certain times, so Iím in lavastorm doing a few races trying to get the title, which is no easy task it seems. In guild I see Dakkota get the title for one of the other races. Coincidence right? Itís unlikely he could have gotten it on his first try but it could happen. He logs over to lavastorm where I am and I see him unlock another title. Coincidence right? Okay so he probably just did these all before on another toon, not like he practiced them forever or anything and waited for me to log in so he could unlock them while I was there. I mean heís online all day long, but itís not like he waited for me to do this, that would be weird right?
Oh hey look, he just got that title but instantly joined another race, the race Iím inÖ which I lose terribly and he destroys. Itís just a coincidence right? Either way Iíve really had enough of Dakkota and tbh I donít think it was a coincidence. If youíd see half the shit Iíve seen, you damn sure wouldnít either. So I log out. I figure I can log in before work and do the races in peace. Ohhh ho ho ohhhh man. But no. I log in at some random time at like 8:30 am or something. A time when you can bet your ass Dakkota usually isnít on, but hey guess what. Iím on for no more than a minute when Dakkota mysteriously shows up. He sends me some tell saying something like ďI knew you were going to log on in the morning and do these races. I canít believe you logged out yesterday, itís not like I was following you. I wanted to do the races too, donít know why you quitĒ. And then logs out. YaÖ thatís just a coincidence. Itís not like he literally STAYED UP ALL NIGHT OR ALL MORNING on some other character watching and waiting for me to log in so that he could switch over say that to me and log out right? Like. What. The. Fuck. Shit like that. It gets to you. It shouldnít, but it does.
Every action I took, every zone I ran, every last name I changed, every guild comment I put up, everything I typed in guild and public and raid chat. Everything I wrote on forums. Dakkota took it personally. He thought they were some kind of secret messages to him. You can look on flames, practically every, if not every thread that I write something in, Dakkotaís name will soon follow. I had to literally go out of my way to try not to do anything at all. I really couldnít talk in guild hardly ever. If I did, I had to deal with Dakkota freak out repercussions on an even higher level than normal for a week.
He stole my name in beta. We were both in beta testing and Dakkota logged over and took the names Showoff, Showoffx, and Showoffxx. And then he sent me taunting tells from my own name. How fucked up is that? But it gets better. He even logged onto these names and pretended to be me. He questioned people in the guild about me.
He questioned people in the guild about me on his own name anyways. He would constantly accuse me of fucking members of the guild. Syndarin, Gaige, Buffrat, RixanÖ yes Rixan(no offense buddy) and probably others I donít remember. Hardcore accuse. He would tell me he fantasizes about me with other guys. He would tell me we were a couple and we were in love. He told me I was in love with him but just didnít want to admit it.
Heíd threaten to kill himself, if I wouldnít be his friend. Heíd threaten to quit if I wouldnít run zones with him. Heíd threaten to get me kicked out of the guild if I wouldnít talk to him. Heíd threaten to post naked pictures of me on flames if I wouldnít call him. Heíd threaten to send naked pictures of me to people if I didnít act like I liked him.
He would constantly tell me he was sorry, and that he had seen the error of his way. Heíd full on apologize and Iíd buy it. Iíd actually think he was done and would act like a normal person and leave me alone. That never lasted more than a day. Heíd ask me to run a zone or do something and if I didnít respond the way he wanted heíd spaz out again. Iíd like to say some part of his brain just doesnít process the fact that you canít torture a person for months upon months and then just expect them to forgive you of all of it and be your friend. I fucking hate Dakkota. I donít hate anyone and I didnít hate him for a very long time. I forgave him a million times, dropped my guard and tried to treat him as a friend despite how repulsive it was to force myself to answer his tells. And he always reverted back to his psychotic behavior. That also broke me. It became clear there was no hope for this person.
It was nonstop, everyday, for months. I like to think I handled it really fucking well. I held it together for a really long time. People would ask me what the deal was with Dakkota when he would freak out or rage in guild, and Iíd tell them to ask him. I never spoke bad about him or told anyone the crap he was doing. I thought it would be mean or negatively affect the way people view him. I thought it would only stir up more drama and cause conflict for the guild and it was best if I just didnít say anything. I only told two people about him despite the way he treated. I told Syndarin, to which I never mentioned many details just the fact that Dakkota was harassing me because by that point I hadnít told anyone for a really long time and I needed some sort of help. And I told Arabel who as guild leader I felt had a right to know after Dakkota started causing scenes in public. I tried reasoning with him a million times, I even offered to help get him psychiatric help lol. I gave Dakkota every chance to knock it the fuck off. I gave him every chance to grow up. I gave him every chance to walk away from all of the terrible things heís done with no repercussions and he just wouldnít stop. He would never leave me alone.
He still will never leave me alone. Posting this is terrifying. Because I donít know what heíll do. Remember how I said I bought him tickets for those theme parks? Well little did I notice the tickets I bought and printed offline had my address on them. He saved them. How freaky is that? He has my address. He knows where I live. He sent me some nasty old stained yellow tshirt that smelled like cigarette smoke for my birthday. He knows my birthday. He knows everything. I donít know what heíll do because of this.
Dakkota twists everything. At first I tried to explain to him that you cannot force people to love you, you cannot force people to like you, and you most certainly cannot force people to be your friend. It was like trying to communicate with a five year old. You know how thereís a situation and the kid will tell you about it. And you know thatís not what really happened, and the kid knows thatís not what really happened but they lie through their teeth and they look up at you and will deny whatever you say till the day they die. Not because they believe what theyíre saying, but because the little kids honestly think theyíre smarter than you. They think you couldnít possibly know whatís really going on that you donít know what theyíre doing.
Thatís what Dakkota does. Throughout all of his stalking he tried to manipulate me to be his friend or do certain things. Tactics to accomplish this included threats, trying to make me feel guilty, bribing(yes he literally sent me plat on multiple occasions), accusing me of causing drama, accusing me of being cruel to him. How he thinks any of these things will get him what he wants is beyond me. He paints himself as the victim in all of this, not because he believes he is, but because he believes Iíll buy it. Like Iím stupid, like Iím not right here being tormented every single day by him. He may be able to convince other people heís the victim in all this, but the audacity for him to try it on me.
His favorite trick is to take whatever I say, and repeat it back to me. I would say that heís being incredibly immature and cruel. He would say I was doing that for not being his friend. I would say that he was selfish and that he had to realize he didnít love me. That he was merely obsessed with me and wanted things his way. If he cared about me he would want me to be happy and wouldnít do these things to me. He would call me selfish and say that I should care about his happiness and not do such cruel things to him. I would get frustrated and say that he was fucking retarded. And he would say things like I canít believe how dumb you are, how can you not see how dumb you are being? If you were only smarter and looked at this objectively youíd see how wrong you are, gosh youíre dumb. I would say stop screaming, stop raging, Iíve explained this to you a million times, you need to leave me alone. I canít handle this anymore if you donít stop I will report you. He would say I canít believe how worked up youíre getting, you should really calm down Iíve been over you for weeks.(Despite the fact that I received at least 6 messages from him the day before)
I tried. Everything. Multiple times. There was no dealing with Dakkota. Not because he has some kind of mental illness, not because heís stupid, although heís definitely not the brightest crayon in the box(This isnít really a bias opinion, heís really not one of the smartest people youíll meet). But because he honestly is naÔve enough to think that these things will work. That he can do this shit and get away with it, and that heíll get what he wants. He thinks that Iíll fall for it and that I donít know better. Like a five year old. There wasnít much for me to do but shake my head in wonder. There was no reasoning with him. There was no ignoring him, he created new toons faster than I could ignore him. I surely couldnít report him, my guild already hated me, that wouldnít help. So what could I do? Dakkota will never stop tormenting me and no one was going to help me. So I left. I think the only reason I was holding out was that I honestly thought he would stop. I mean how long could this go on. But heís just as messed up as he was a year ago, he hasnít improved in the slightest.
What my guildmates saw the day I quit was Dakkota asking in guild chat for someone to make him crit scrolls. Simple enough, but I knew as soon as I saw that text it was just a ploy for him to talk to me. I should have logged out right then and you could bet your life he wouldnít have needed crit scrolls anymore. But sure enough, nobody else could make them, and conveniently enough there were none on the broker(I honestly wouldnít be surprised if he bought them all), and even though he had been under 100% crit for practically foreverÖ and even made a huge fuss about not caring about his crit rate in betaÖ he suddenly HAD to have those 4% crit scrolls. So he asked me, I said no. I had told him a million times before I did not want to talk to him. And yet he still bothered me everyday.
I donít know why the fuck he wouldnít leave me alone, itís been months I was at the end of my rope. And it was blatantly obvious he had cooked this up just like everything else. I got a barrage of well orchestrated tells from him about how it was my duty as his guild mate to make him shit. About how I was causing drama and fucking problems because I wanted to. How I intentionally refused to make him stuff just to make him mad. It was just one more situation of many for Dakkota to rile up into some kind of crazy rage frenzy that I wanted no part in. I just wanted him to leave me the hell alone. So I put him on ignore. Someone informed me that he had called me a cunt in guild chat and then rage logged. So what happened? Discussion starts and of course Iím accused once again of doing something to Dakkota. After he just sat there and yelled at me in guild chat, and sent me nasty tells, and then rage logged. Thatís my fault? Sure, kick me while Iím down. Itís pretty obvious to me, that this situation will never change. Dakkota sits in his room all day long doing nothing but thinking about and monitoring me. And itís not even just me. The fact that itís happening to me has nothing to do with me as a person. This is just what he does, to some female.
Heís done this to other girls on the internet and girls in real life. He even told me he fell in love with his cousin and used to touch her and liked it because it was dirty. When she told him to stop because it was weird and wrong he freaked out. He tormented her, and called the police on her boyfriend or something. How does something like that even happen? Apparently itís happened to the vast majority of females he has come into contact with. He even carved some other girls name in a fence, all kinds of just fucked up stuff.
I know that this was long and rambly and really had no format. Because thatís what it was. Just some long giant ramble about my troubles with Dakkota. Thereís a million things I left out, the images should help paint the picture. I doubt I could ever explain how it really felt unless you were there. And maybe most of it is my fault. Not because of what I did. Because I donít care how many of you people somehow find a way to justify what he did. I didnít do anything wrong. My fault was that I should have reported him. Right from the beginning I should have said fuck trying to help him. I should have said fuck Gaige threatening to get me kicked out of the guild. Fuck it if I do get kicked out. Fuck it if he posts pictures of me. Fuck people if they hate me for doing it. I should have reported him. I should have told someone, I should have done something. I tried to see the good in him. I tried to give him a chance to fix what he had done. But folks there is no good in Dakkota. He is a very sadistic and fucked up individual. I no longer believe all people are equal, I no longer believe that all behavior can be explained and that anyone would do certain things if put in a certain situation. Dakkota is just fucked up. He has no respect for others and thinks only of himself. I could never do what he has done to me to someone else. I donít know how anyone could.
I played off all of this as it happened. Maybe I shouldnít have. I believed that people would do what was right, I believed it would all work out. That was a poor decision on my part. But itís not in me to go crying to people, itís not in me to admit Iím scared or freaked out. But I was. And maybe that wonít come across in all this. People probably wonít get it. But Dakkota has literally ruined that past year of my life. I would cry myself to sleep a lot of nights and pick up the pieces the next day. Go to work, get feeling better, and come back home excited to play. I think Iím one of the few people that actually still enjoys this game. I would want to play. I would log in happy finally forgetting about whatever Dakkota had done the day before and then the game would load up and my heart would skip and Iíd remember. Iíd check the guild list and my friends list for his alts to see if he was on, to see if it was safe. He was always on. Fucking always. Iíd try to figure out if he was going to bother me. The second heíd send me tells Iíd get nervous. Iíd be scared to put him on ignore, scared of what heíd do scared of what heíd say. Millions of scenarios would play through my head of terrible things that could happen. Stuff he would say would hurt my feelings. Not because of what was said, but because a person could be so cruel to me for no reason other than they want to make me suffer. I tried to plan my actions to minimize whatever attention he would draw. Heíd threaten me and Iíd believe him. Not because I really believe it, but because I knew he was capable of the things he said. Everytime I saw the little mail icon Iíd literally break down. I donít know how it got to that point. It seems so silly. I know it must seem silly. It should be right?
I mean all of this stuff, none of itís really that bad right? Not singularly, but when youíre living it, itís crazy. Iím honestly a very strong person emotionally, I donít rattle easy, Iím not really scared of anything. But I would get so anxious. He would say something in guild and my heart would literally start pounding in my ears. Iíd freak out, I wouldnít know what he was going to do or say. I didnít know what he wanted, I didnít know why he wouldnít leave me alone. Why he was doing this to me. I would cry. And I hate admitting that. I hate hate hate hate hate admitting that. I donít like to show weakness, I cried really? Thatís so dumb, itís so pathetic. But I did, more than anyone will ever know. I cried throughout writing this. It plagued my mind for days on end when stuff would happen. It was all I could think about at work. And sometimes it wasnít just my thoughts that would bother me.
Dakkota would send me messages at work, hed call me at work. If I didnít respond to him he would start threatening me. I know I shouldnít have believed it, I know I shouldnít have responded to it, that was giving him power over me. But when he says things like if you donít answer right now Iím going to kill myself, or Iím going to post pictures of you all over the internet. And he says them in such a violent and terrible way, you believe it. You try to stop it. Iíd cry at work, Iíd have to hide in my car or the bathroom. It just wasnít worth it. I couldnít deal with it any longer. There was no end in sight and help wasnít coming to the rescue, I had to do something, only there was nothing I could do other than run away and hide. I couldnít justify doing what Iím doing now. Not because I was scared, but because I didnít want to be mean. I didnít want attention, I didnít want controversy, I didnít want to deal with Dakkota anymore. I didnít want people to know how I felt. I just wanted it to stop and fighting back with cruelty didnít cross my mind.
It should all seem silly. But Itís not. What is he going to do now? Now that Iíve shown people what heís done? Is he going to post pictures about me? Is he going to lie about me? Does he have the power to just delete this before anyone sees it? Is he going to come to my house? Is he going to call my house? Is he going to threaten my family? Is anyone going to care? Are people going to laugh at me? Are people going to accuse me? I donít know.
And I guess thatís that. Iím not sure if what I say will be twisted and distorted and contradicted. Dakkota has been around a long time and I havenít. Heís a guy and Iím not. Heís a moderator and Iím not. He plays a dps and I donít. But everything Iíve said is the gods honest truth. All I can do is hope that some good will come from this. They say the truth will set you free. Lets see how right they are.
They're gonna come when you're not ready when you're not too well-prepared. They're gonna prey upon your weakness no man's soul is ever spared.
Make it smaller plz, site rules and all <3
Not going to take the time to read that, but hearing how you don't care bout anything of this sort and prefer to be drama free, then this, it seems you are crazier than you think I am to come and write this and lay everything out to the extrmes. You are not innocent in everything and would of course exclude any fault upon yourself as you always do. You really blow alot of things out of proportion and selectivly choose which truths to reveal about the entire situation. I'm not going to defend myself because people who know me are cool with me, everyone has shit on them. If people want to judge me because of what you wrote why should I fight it. Really shitty you did this, I won't write a come-back about you though, I don't care enough.
The fact that I hardly even care to read that, would make me think its sad if someone uninvolved could give a fuck more about our drama. Sure theres rage, irrationality and bullshit. I don't see what you've accomplished. Hope you figure stuff out one day, of course while you were around me you threatened your own suicides over things that happened and say you're so unhappy with life you're giving yourself till age 30 then probably killing yourself. Have a good life.
Number one, thank you very much for using paragraphs. I mean really, thank you for that.
Number two, the problem with photobucket is that it will eventually shut off your pics based on the traffic they'll get, at least that's what usually happens.
May I suggest that out of the six pages or so of pics you have uploaded to photobucket, you pick out the 5 to 10 choicest pics that best illustrate your case and upload them to this site using the quick upload feature to the right of the text entry box when you enter a post.
tl'dr you're both batshit crazy the end
Ripptx :: Assassin
Towkin :: Dirge
Until you try to make up for a lack of skill with twice as much effort, you'll never know how much you can't do~!
let this be a lesson in life. don't fuck your guildies.
even with paragraphs and my 24" wide I was still like jesus christ my eyes
even if its 1/2 true its still some fucked up shit
yes pics would be nice
this thread has potential
I call 30 by which post Gaige will be in this thread.
Ill take the under!