This thread is to serve it's function by outlining the outright truths as to why Kaizer Sosay is an Asshole. All points herewithin are true and can be certified in a court of law in the greatest country on earth, the MutherFuckin U.S. of A. That's right bitches.
Kaizer Sosay is an asshole because:
1. He's a busboy at Denny's. That's right. After Geraldine and Martha are done leaking their colostomy bags over the booths and leaving the half-consumed remains the "Senior's Breakfast Platter" all over the bathroom floor, Mr. Sosay comes by to clean it all up. And he does it with a smile on his face. What sort of an asshole sits around in the alleyway behind Denny's with "Jose" and "Rodriguez" on their 45 minute "smoke break" smoking cheap latino cigarettes, playing euchre and talking about how Ms. Jennings was lookin hot in her new Moo-moo. Hmmm, those vericose veins are starting to disappear after only 6 weeks of therapy and a dermatologists recommended cream. Jerk, jerk /squirt. What an asshole. See diagram below.
2. He's a freak of nature. That's right. This asshole is not only the maligned adopted-son of 2 gay priests (that incidently took the Murder-Suicide route while on Mission in the Philipines in 1994) but the actual son of a deviant proven in court to maintain only 14% of his mental capacity due to prologned meth use, and the son of his whore girlfriend who tried to kill Kaizer Sosay on 6 different occasions using a butter knife and/or a wire coat hanger while he was still in the womb. This is just a preface to my actual point. This asshole has got a taint that is 4x bigger than the average person. That's right. The Almighty saw it fit to not only curse him with a horrendous genelogical line, but to scar his physical person, causing his prolonged sexual deviancy, much like his father. Please refer to the diagram below.
3. His personality. What asshole is not complete without a personality to stink it up wherever he may go. His dull mindless ramblings he commonly refers to as friendly chatter or "raid strats" can best be described by or 17th and 24th President, Mr Abraham Lincoln. "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." His exitence within the Dirty Dozen fills a much needed gap. He exists serves to others as an eternal warning for when bad ideas, prolonged drug use, incoherently dangerous promiscuity, and the Bill of Rights all come together in the conception of new life. His delusions of adequency simply served to alienate him further from the mainstream populous of Oasis (itself filled with the finest of shitheads EQ2 and SoE has ever complied on to one server). While engaged in a vigorous debate on the principles of his uberness in the WW Mystic channels, he himself has seem to forgotten that he was solo healing a group, and now they've all perished beneath his mindless ramblings and groundless taunts. Congratualtions on coming in 2nd to last on the healer parse once again.
In conclusions, Kaizer Sosay is an asshole. It's best if we all be warned and harken to words listed here. Stay clear of Sosay. He will taint your mind and haunt your intelligence. Plus, he stinks like a fucking porch monkey and only eats Kosher dairy products. That's right, I said it. Fuck you Kaizer. I'll fuck your mouth. This is only hour 2 of booze and I'm already 1 post ahead of you. Plus I've got pictures motherfucker! That's right. I mean, I'd love to see things from where you stand but I can't seem to shove my head that far up my ass. Your life is a premier argument for why Abortion should be 100% legal, no questions asked.
Alright your turn bitch. fuck, I'm buzzin! woot woot.
Sam
Why Kaizer Sosay is an asshole. By Edgar Allen Poe
