Now I know everyone of you has had their fair share of terrible healers, right?
I'd like to point everyone's attention to a very special flower in God's garden of the clever and wise
Duremar on Runnyeye
EBayed a while ago, if I'm not misinformed, but nevertheless.
If you want your raid to fail, or if you just want to fill empty spots, this is your man. The guy is a templar, and we all know what Templars do. That's right, they have nifty little MT buffs, quite an arsenal of handy debuffs, and ... well, they cure and heal. While I only have a low level Templar alt, it's safe to say that the class-defining heal of a cleric is the reactive heal.
Now, in my experience, bad healers can be classified in to the following categories:
- Non-curer
"Wut? Trauma? Wuts dat?"
-- Random pickup dude #1
- AFK-type healer
Those are the ones that could be replaces by a bot since they press the same buttons over and over again, not paying attention to what is actually happening or who is losing health/dying. They have a tendency to stand in range of AoEs, and run right back in there after a KB, even if the range of the AoE is smaller than max-heal range.
"Rezzing is more power-efficient anyway"
-- Random pickup dude #2
- Non-debuffing healer
While this doesn't apply to all healer classes, it certainly applies to Templars. Involuntary Restoration and all that jazz are golden.
"Uuuh, wuts dat button do???"
-- Random pickup dude #3
Now .. this guy excels in all categories, and more.
The Setting
Alright, it's a random Friday afternoon, and for the fun of it and because a guildy is bored and another one is craving GDoH still, the decision was made to host a 2-group pickup LoA run
- MT group with Guard/Defiler/Templar/Coercer/Dirge/Brigand
- 2nd group with Defiler/Warlock/Dirge/Conjurer/Wizard/Paladin
After all you have to use what you have right?
The Run
Well, it started out with a good laugh as the guy died to the statues in front of the entrance to HoS, as he ran to the wrong instance. Well, things happen, and we all have a hangoever every now and then, so meh.
After reviving and arriving at the correct zone-in 5minutes later, not running any buffs at all, then suddenly putting all the good stuff that belongs on the MT on himself, that was the first big "uh-oh" moment.
Since we had already been waiting ages for people to gather and get there, we thought we'd give it a spin anyway.
Someone finally convinced him to put the buffs that belong on the MT on the MT, and off we went.
Aside from a distinct lack of healing from his end (according to my parser), he would make any Volatile-Magic specced Chanter proud, since he ran oop in no time. Yep, or course he was running Yaulp, while not meleeing (Those who don't know, it's a self-buff with a recurring power cost per second that decreases ministration skill, and gives you 20dps/20haste/20dbl-attack).
So, you try to mention that .. nicely. Again and again, over time.
Quote:
Questis says to the group, "btw duremar, there are other buffs which are more usefull than holy redoubt on yourself and wasting power with yaulp"
Questis says to the group, "duremar, you should disable yaulp :/"
You say to the group, "Duemar unless you go melee, Yaulp will do nothing but eat your power :P"
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Then after a while, a different approach
Quote:
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You say to the group, "Earth to Duremar, Earth to Duremar - why are you running Yaulp? :P"
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And you get
Quote:
Duremar says to the group, "What's wrong...???"
Duremar says to the group, "u wanna me to leave???"
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as reply.
But you want a successful run, so...
Quote:
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You say to the group, "no but running "Yaulp" buff is not recommended - look what it does"
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But nothing helped, not even these
Quote:
You say to the group, "Duremar for the last time CANCEL "YAULP""
You say to the group, "cancel yaulp cancel yaulp cancel yaulp cancel yaulp cancel yaulp cancel yaulp cancel yaulp cancel yaulp cancel yaulp cancel yaulp"
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Now, we didn't actually wipe or anything until we got to Vilucidae, but it wasn't exactly a smooth ride, with the MT defiler being my alt, and the other shammy (as shammy) not being able to help that much cross-group except through direct heals and an occasional soul ward. Thx to (I already forgot the name), you certainly did better from over there than that Duremar!
And .. a little analysis of what he actually did do and to back up my words... here his zone-wide heal parse.
Now what did he do? Let's see:
Word of Reparation - Group direct heal, might be of use at times of course, but 29% of a ZW? haha!
Grand Restoration - Single target direct heal. 28% of the ZW? Oh dear god...
Grand Amelioration - The other single target direct heal. 19% of the ZW, yea right...
Etc etc.
And now the best part:
Supplicant's Prayer - 6% of the ZW. Now wait, isn't that a REACTIVE heal? The one that only clerics have? Yes, it is.
The level 26 version of it!!
I can only warn everybody - don't take this guy on a raid unless you like being unable to finish KoS zones...
Duremar, Templar on Runnyeye
