Any forum, regardless of the subject, the debates are always the same:
"I'm right, the rest of you assholes are clueless."
Just add more adjectives, change the topic, plug into a new place.
I have devised this for future flames, so people can flame more efficiently and therefore spend less of their precious real lives in front of the great digital tit. Too much mother's milk = gas and indigestion!
The Flame Helper, or, "don't use a bic where a flamethrower will do."
Fuck you _______ (
forum name)! You cocksmoking ________ (
insert political affiliation, religion, stance on topic here - if you can't think of anything, "faggot" or "hippie liberal" usually gets them going)! _______ (
insert "the other side") are ignorant _______ (
"rednecks," "nazis" or "communists" go well here). Maybe if your mommy let you out of the basement once and a while, you might get laid, but till then you and your hairy sweaty virgin palms will have to keep shuckin corn down there in the dark. When you get a real job, _________ (
"pizza boy," "burger flipper" or "newspaper boy" works well here), you might get out in the real world long enough to educate yourself.
(
sadly, you will still have to improvise. Longer = better. The space below has been provided for you. If you fill it, feel free to flip this post over and use the back.)
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We have provided these helpful words, phrases and topics if the current topic dies down at some point and people are starting to look bored. Remember, at a flame fest, a bored bystander is a non-contributing bystander, and that means less fun for all. Experienced flamers steer clear of repetition and know that a successful flame is not a redundant flame. Try to shake things up a bit and think of your own!
....you screw your sister
....I screw your mother
....I screw your sister
....you rape goats
....you fail at life
....you lose at the internet
....your political affiliation sucks
....your reading skills suck
....your comprehension skills suck
....you live in the basement
....you have water on the brain
....you can't get laid
....you suck at your toon
....you suck at your guild
....you suck at ... whatever
....you're my bitch, bitch!
Apply to female posters:
manhater
feminist bra burning lesbian
dumb/stupid cunt (I like Al Swearingin's "loopy cunt!" but he says it with what sounds like affection)
Apply to male posters:
fag
pussy
cocksucker/smoker/gobbler/gargler/tonsilscrubber
catcher/the girl
pencilneck
Apply to conservatives:
redneck
nazi/hitler/kkk/skinhead/racist
Apply to liberals:
towelhead/raghead
communist
treehugging liberal hippie fuck
Apply to gay:
see "apply to male posters" or female, as appropriate
Apply to religious folks:
...your god sucks
narrowminded rednecks
...religion is anti-female
see other topics.
Apply to Athiests:
you're going to hell, and the nongod is going to kick your unbelieving ass
Apply to political types:
<3 Hillary
<3 Al Gore
<3 Bush
<3 Clinton in a blue dress, carrying a cigar
<3 Ted Nugent
Surefire topics to get things going, on a boring day while waiting for expansion (*= previously mentioned):
Politics
*Al Gore
*Hillary Clinton
Abortion
Gay Marriage
Stop the war!
Nuke them all!
Religion is evil
Everyone else is evil
The world was created by God in 7 days.
The world was created by Darwin, he just doesn't know it.
Darwin converted.
God converted to Darwin.
God and Darwin converted to Wicca.
Winwin's pinkness
X guild exploited
Nerf X class!
X is broken (a great opening for the 'you're a whiny bitch' argument)
Aliens are real.
Aliens are fake.
The earth is flat/moonlanding was fake (flat earth folks get real wound up)
Personal grievances with X or Y person/guild/server/forum poster.
Sour grapes over X guild getting Y contested.
Feel free to add more content, I think I covered the biggies, though.
Disclaimer: This may be conceived as attention whoring. I'd just give in and throw in the obligatory tit flash at the end to make it complete, but I'm trying to avoid being overly cliché. ;) I'll show some leg: /em hikes up pajama leg & shows a little ankle, inconveniently encased in a wool sock (shit!)
Ok, my work here is done.
Re: Fezik #1, but free tikk.
