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  1. #1
    Forever Jailbait Kriptini's Avatar
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    Default Talathion 2.0: Retardation in Rift

    I sympathize for the poor souls in this world that have been diagnosed with Down's syndrome. Talathion gives them such a bad reputation.

    As many of you are all aware, Talathion is the biggest fucking moron Everquest 2 has ever witnessed. He's more fucktarded than Ajjantis, a bigger cunt than Esachasa, and hell, if I had a nine-year old daughter, I'd sooner let her share a bed with Sam Fucking Deathwalker than let her mind be forever poisoned by this absurd lunatic.

    But my friends and comrades, Talathion's retardation could not be contained in Everquest 2. Talathion's alternate name is Tuor, or as we like to call him, Tumor, because like cancer, he has spread to another MMORPG, and is attempting to commit genocide on brain cells once more. This time, it's in RIFT.

    Here's where it begins, my friends. In this thread on the official RIFT forums, Talathion asks for the removal of the "Hit" stat. For those of you who are unaware of what that is, "Hit" is the way Rift handles dungeon/raid progression. In order to move onto the next tier of content, you need to obtain enough "Hit" so that you can accurately land your blows on enemy mobs.

    Quote Originally Posted by Talathion, Greatest Retard of All Time
    It serves nothing except artificially locking out players from dungeons and the game, it also separates the player base. Such a stat should simply be removed.
    I tried to picture someone actually uttering this phrase in real life, but all I got was an image of Rosie O'Donnell vomiting donkey feces. Not only is this claim incredibly ignorant, but he also states his opinion so matter-of-factly, it's as if he expects people to agree with him with a rousing arm point towards the sky and a rallying cry of "Heil," because Talathiaon is the Hitler of intelligent thought.

    Thank goodness that there are people like Vioarr to politely point out his ignorance; it redeems the human race as a whole for me. Here is the extremely reasonable response one of Rift's top raiders gave in response to Tumor's fucktardedness:

    Quote Originally Posted by Vioarr
    Who has the time to address the F2P tidal wave of shortsighted requests with "intelligent replies"? Without hit and such a small increase in stats from tier to tier you'd see chunks of content largely skipped and force Trion to create other ways to force us to run the content. That is historically very unpopular and detrimental, much more so than the minimal amount of time required to obtain hit. The other possibility is Trion would simply stop developing the content most commonly skipped, which would upset a large number of players. There is no significant benefit to the overall game if your suggestion was implemented yet a very real possibility of negative impact.

    You asserted your opinion, you are required to prove the worth of your suggestion because that is how the burden of proof works, it is not our responsibility to point out the shortcomings, we do that voluntarily.
    Anyone who knows of Talathion will agree with me that the man I have quoted above is an angel for being as polite as he was to this nutsucking shitstain on the human race.

    Of course, this greenlighted Tumor's "advanced stupid" mode and forced him to excrete more verbal diarrhea. Fair warning: what you are about to read will scar you for life. The potential of his idiocy rubbing off on you from merely reading the first sentence may make you incapable of ever understanding anything ever again. FOREVER.

    Quote Originally Posted by IT IS NOT TOO LATE TO AVERT YOUR EYES FROM THE MASSIVE FUCKTARDEDNESS IN THIS QUOTE
    Yes, but if you just say "No." without giving a point to what your saying you simply promote my idea without making any changes to it. I can say no to every thread I see, however if I don't say why I said no, then I will not change nore will the one i'm trying to make a point to.
    I tried to search for an image of Al Sharpton being awarded a Nobel Peace Prize for Ending Racial Disputes as a way to sarcasticly portray the amount of "intelligence" in that shitty mockery of the English language, but immediately after the thought, I tried to kill myself using my keyboard because my auto-immune system took over and thought that I was in danger of becoming so stupid, that I would endanger the human race from merely considering to humor this batshit freak. I suspect that everyone is SUPPOSED to have this response hard-coded in their genes, but Tuor is just such a fucking abomination that he mutated without it.


    Quote Originally Posted by Someone please mercy kill me
    If the content is so boring that it needs or wants to be skipped, then that is another problem altogether, perhaps content should be made to be more fun then?
    Below is a list (organized in bullet points, because despite being subjected to this mindfucking stupidity I'm still not so screwed up that I can't organize a fucking list) of all of the people that have publicly claimed that current content is boring and should be skipped:
    • Talathion
    Quote Originally Posted by If I fucked a five dollar hooker and got a cocktail of STD's, it would have still been a smarter decision than Talathion ever deciding to open his mouth ever
    All the stat does is create a barrier between the playerbase. You said so yourself, better stats like strength are fine, but artificial stats like hit are bad and just bring negative impacts later in the game.
    Without Hit, you literally cannot hit a mob you are trying to fight, so unless you want to call every other stat in the fucking game that helps you complete encounters "artificial," then- why am I even bother trying to argue with this little shit? I can literally feel myself getting dumber by the second. I feel that, after reading anything written by this dickfuck moronic asshole, it would be completely irresponsible for me to every have children due to the infinitesimal chance that me reading this garbage could impact the mental development of the future generation.

    Hark, a dev posts!

    Quote Originally Posted by Daglar
    Hit is here to stay for the moment folks.


    It is a barrier - a barrier that exists on purpose.


    ~Daglar
    Done! Literally any further argument serves no purpose because when Daglar speaks, he is frank, and those of us who know Daglar know that he didn't give Hartsman daily handjobs just so that when he became the head of Rift he could get told how to run his game by F2P pricks with the intelligence of an autistic fire hydrant.

    Actually, I want to apologize to all F2P pricks with the intelligence of an autistic fire hydrant. None of you are nearly as bad as Tumor and I deeply apologize.

    And yet, as the horrible, immoral, and absolute inhumane violence the KKK perpetuated onto innocent blacks over the course of American history, so to does Tumor continue to perpetuate his horrible, immoral, and absolute idiocy to the poor souls on the Rift forums.

    Quote Originally Posted by Even though I can't compete against a dead, decaying, half-brained dog in a game of checkers, it's not fair that anyone is better than me at anything and they're all elitists
    Its only important to one who likes being locked out of content or is already on top. It only makes people feel important, perhaps people like you?


    It means anyone who could play your account, possibly even better then you play your character be better, but they are not because of artificial stats like this.


    What... afraid of a little competition? It is no wonder you hate the idea of such a stat being removed.
    Quote Originally Posted by I will give my life savings to the first person who kidnaps this douchefuck and forces a gallon of DRANO down his throat
    I am only trying to make the game better, RIFT has made a lot of money with there new direction, but I see so many threads about newer 60s complaining about trying to get into new places and new raids and older players simply not taking them due to artificial skill caps like these.


    If there is an easier option, a human will always go for it. There is no way a newer tank will get a spot over an older tank, that would just take more time and work and they probably don't even have the hit to compare so they won't be doing nearly the DPS either.


    Eventually all that money they got will die down if they don't do something quickly.
    Your Honor, if it pleases the court, I'd like to refer to my earlier list of people that have complained about Hit because current content is boring. I think you'll find that weuieqruq;grf

    Sorry folks, I just had a minor stroke because this is really fucking stupid.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fact: If Tuor killed himself, the suicide rate among people who kill themselves due to overexposure of stupidity would increase so large that people would thank the fuckbrained cuntshitter for his contribution to the human race
    I'm sorry, did I strike a nerve? I do clearly enjoy your feelings on the matter, however I believe that if content is too boring to do and wants to be skipped over, then it should be changed or just removed.


    All content should be fun to do and also challenging, if its not and simply feels like a chore then it would just lead to the direction of people leaving the game, or moving to other MMOs.
    Dear God, I try not to ask you for much, but I beg of you that Tumor take his own hint and move to an MMO more appropriate for people of his intelligence level, such as playing "find the Saltine" in an active woodchipper.

    Quote Originally Posted by I kid you not, he actually said this
    I believe people only derail threads to gain attention they can't gain from others.
    MOTHERFUCKING SHIT, HE'S BECOMING SELF-AWARE!

    Again, the good people of the Rift community (bless their hearts) attempt to humor the wretch. (I have literally run out of insults at this point, and this is after watching eight seasons of Scrubs and memorizing every single one of Dr. Cox's rants just so I could communicate as effectively as possible what a cocksucking, motherfucking, cunt-sniffing, cum-guzzling, batshit crazy man-whore bestialitist psychopath with absolutely no regard for decency or intelligence this asshat wretch is.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Sikarius View Post
    Why stop at removing hit? Let's scrap levels too, after all starting at level 1 is just a barrier stopping people playing with their level 60 friends.


    Are you asking for all content to be available to everyone from the minute they first log-in? Or is it just certain content? If you only want certain content to be immediately available and the rest to be earned -which is what the Hit stat is for- then who are you to decide where the line is drawn?
    Quote Originally Posted by Hyppocratis, Philosopher of Hypocracy
    I agree, Levels are annoying.


    In Starwars Galaxies we didn't have levels or anything, we just grinded out skills.. perhaps these skills could be the rift soul traits?


    Guys, guys, GUYS! GRINDING != ARTIFICIAL BARRIER! (Whether you agree with that or not, the point is that this guy is a hypocritic assmunch.)

    Quote Originally Posted by Hitler's radioactive shit
    If they can't do the content, then they can still do the lesser content and get gear to do harder content, it just doesn't lock people out of newer content so the older players can help the newer players. I believe the term is called "carry", its like helping people in MMOs is a grave sin now.
    Ignoring the fact that Tuor is beyond any help with anything whatsoever, he just accurately described how the current Hit system that he is so opposed to works. I would slow clap, but his retardation is not worth the immeasurably small amount of energy that my slow clap would generate, nor is it worth potentially killing off cells in my hands that would take seconds to regrow.

    Quote Originally Posted by Not even Samuel L. Jackson can drop enough profanities to respond realistically to this turd
    Its far funner doing something really really challenging and finishing it, taking on something where everyone has to be on there best and be more skilled then other players and finally defeating something that most people can't do without the best raid gear. Ever had that feeling before? Probably not.
    Neither has Talathion. Hell, I'd be surprised if his total inability to play any game has ever even granted him a small sense of satisfaction akin to one that comes from completing the first grade at the age of twenty.

    Quote Originally Posted by In response to a player talking about how people gear up new raiders in their raid force
    You [overestimate] your player base here, have you not seen some of the replies to this thread alone?
    Which replies, these?

    Quote Originally Posted by Talathitard
    I'm guessing you've never done anything hard before?
    Quote Originally Posted by Talathitard
    Most MMO players are total masochists.


    Quote Originally Posted by Talathitard
    I'm sure many players will do that, but the majority of the player-base is selfish.


    Folks, this man is a visionary. In his 12 days of playing Rift, he has gotten to know the community so well that he can make an accurate statement judging all of them.

    Friends, we all know that Tumor didn't need my help to look like a retard. We all know that I don't need to point out the fact that this guy is a moron for thinking that he can know everything about how the game works after 12 days of play and 81 forum posts. We already know he's a plague on humanity. But if this thread in the future saves one person, just ONE person from making the mistake of ever listening to a thing this fucktard says... well, then I think I've done my job.

    As a farewell, my friends, I leave you with one final gem.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tumor
    I think most players just don't like the fact that people can be as good as them if they give them an inch. The only reason people are posting is they are AFRAID of losing their specialness.

    The high school level of hate in this thread alone shows how much this side of the community hates new players and I only hope moderators clean them out, for they are nothing but rude and disrespectful. We all pay the same fees.

    The most brilliant people in man-kind were labeled as stupid, and you know what? They were better because they could think /outside the box/ not in a little box of thought that most people share in this thread, granted I knew I would have negative feedback, but calling me stupid just proves that you are nothing but a small child.
    Last edited by Kriptini; 07-17-2013 at 07:11 AM.

  2. #2
    Ily
    Ily is offline
    "Hell hath no fury..." Ily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Talathion 2.0: Retardation in Rift

    You forgot....

    full_tits.jpg
    Hey Chavez... Why ain't they killin us?
    We're in the Spirit World, asshole. They cain't see us!



  3. #3
    Senior Member Ucala's Avatar
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    Default Re: Talathion 2.0: Retardation in Rift

    a RaR on eq2 forums, about Rift player.
    Quote Originally Posted by Westernn View Post
    Lol sad part is Ucala is right.

  4. #4
    I stand with Rand Hoss's Avatar
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    Default Re: Talathion 2.0: Retardation in Rift

    You sound mad Krip. I like it. Too bad I don't give a shit about rift. Now lets see if it has legs. Tell the folks on official forums they can come here and make fun of him.
    It's only weird if it doesn't work.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Talathion 2.0: Retardation in Rift

    7/4, Would read again.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tristerin View Post
    chorboy is my new hero.

  6. #6
    Forever Jailbait Kriptini's Avatar
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    Default Re: Talathion 2.0: Retardation in Rift

    Quote Originally Posted by Hoss View Post
    You sound mad Krip. I like it. Too bad I don't give a shit about rift. Now lets see if it has legs. Tell the folks on official forums they can come here and make fun of him.
    Subtle links have been left around the thread and Tuor has been PM'd as well, so we shall see.

    EDIT: So people have definitely seen this thread but I don't think that any of them are gonna register and post. As for Tala, he's a pussy so he probably won't post either /sigh
    Last edited by Kriptini; 07-17-2013 at 04:31 PM.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Talathion 2.0: Retardation in Rift

    Nice RAR. It must have taken you hours to come up with all those colorful adjectives.

    Basically what I understand is he apped to a guild in Rift, and got turned down because despite being at max level, there is yet another stat holding him back from winning everything. He has a point, but he has no idea how to effectively argue his point without looking like a twat. It's an ongoing problem. What Tuor is trying to say is Trion put that HIT stat in there to obfuscate the problem of shitty/easy encounter design. I should just remind people HIT = Crit Mit in our case, and understandings should start to develop.

    Anyways you should be nice to Tuor. He'll find exploits that can make you lots of plat/whateverthefuckrifthas.

  8. #8
    Forever Jailbait Kriptini's Avatar
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    Default Re: Talathion 2.0: Retardation in Rift

    Hit is basically a noob way of telling you that you have gear good enough to complete an encounter. If you have enkugh Hit, you also probably have enough Endurance and Attack/Spell Power. If you don't have enough Hit., you will never survive encounters because you won't have the DPS to kill it before it enrages or the HP to survive mechanics. Encounters in Rift are extremely tightly tuned. (Let alone you won't be able to hit the mob.)

    Also, only amateurs like Tumor need to use exploits to play Rift lol

  9. #9
    nooonooonooonooonooonooon
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    Default Re: Talathion 2.0: Retardation in Rift

    nvm
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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    Default Re: Talathion 2.0: Retardation in Rift

    TLDR

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