Thwoompa

Hope you guys enjoy this, The worlds first 'Gnomo erotica'.

Audiobook as read by Sir Daniel for those who do not enjoy reading but would rather listen in car on way to work.

Part 1-4
http://www.tindeck.com/audio/my/ioed...-dong--pts-1-4
Part 5-8
http://www.tindeck.com/audio/my/vpaq...olden-Dong-5-8
Part 9-10
http://www.tindeck.com/audio/my/amyq...lden-dong-9-10
Part 11-13
coming soon

PART 1

It was a day like any other in Norath, our young gnomo hero Thwoompa was begining his daily chores. A large pile of bodies sits in front of him, he kicks a body to the side, a smile adorns his face "I know this one!" he exclaims, unstrapping his plate leggings. With the armour that once protected him strewn haphazardly beside him, he begins firmly grabbing the cloth sliding it up the trolls rough manly legs till the ripe firm butte is exposed. "Whats this?!" a look of shock comes over his face, "What a strange tattoo!" but he cannot think clearly with his dong in control of things.

He grips firmly on each bottock with each hand, a boil pops in his left hand "HOT" he uses the puss as a makeshift lubricant, shaking with desire he resumes his task. Ever so slightly he edges his gnomohood into the buttehole, he shudders with excitement."Ohhhhhhhh so good, who's ur daddy Ohhhhh". Thwoompa's cheeks flush red and he begins panting in time with his pelvic thrusts, only just managing to hold onto each buttock with slowly weakening body. "Troll butte is the beh beh best!" He is getting close to his fall now, he must distract himself to make it last longer and does it the only way a gnomo knows how, he begins planning and engineering in his mind an invention something to hold open a trolls butteflaps, that way he could get in the odd slap.

"Oh how I love that slap sound" he says to himself breathlessly, oh god oh god oh god that done it. Quickly he removes his gnomohood from the trolls butte a lovely slurping sound accompanies it, and BAM first shot of love yogurt hits right on the buttehole. There is more though, he starts to shake and BAM next load sprays over both buttecheeks, he tries to get his breathe, it feels as if he is fighting to get enough oxygen into his lungs then BAM again. Thwoompa has never done this before, a bewildered look slowly creeps on to his face, He wants to keep spraying like this forever but also wants it to end. BAM again "Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh boy" and with that he slumps down on the right buttecheek, splashing his love yogurt everywhere. Again he notices the tattoo, he recognises the design ! He saw it many years ago in a house in South Qeynos, it is a fireplace, something is different though there appears to be a indication meaning twist on one of the sides. Before he can get a closer look a green spectral bird grabs the troll by his shoulders and lifts him to his feet. Uncontrollable turns around and says "Thanks buddy, thats the best rez I have ever had !".

Thwoompa doesnt let on what he has seen, Uncontrollable notices the look of distraction on the young gnomo's face "Whats up sugar?", Thwoompa collects himself and says "Nothing, Nothing" then begins mumbling the way only gnomo's can. Uncontrollable has important business and must be going he has no time to find out whats up with the gnomo today, he waves. Thwoompa responds "Gosh, Golly, Geewilikers" the best a gnomo can do at flirting. Thwoompa than begins his journey from the graveyard to South Qeynos, as he walks he notices everyone is giving him strange looks. Puzzled he looks down and notices he forgot to put back on his leggings, his still dripping floppy dong is waving about in the wind. Slap his hand meets his forhead, without skipping a beat he turns and runs back to the graveyard. Now with pants on, he once again begins his journey to South Qeynos.

PART 2

As he reaches the door, he begins to worry "He has been gone for so long, I sure hope hes here now!". Without another thought he knocks on the door, not a second passes and the door swings open. A cute little woodelf in green opens the door, his firm butte out of his view but Thwoompa remembers it so well. Before he can say hello the woodelf bursts out "Oh my god, its been so long, get in here, get in here!". As Thwoompa enters he looks around, he always loved this house although something was new "Whats that !??!" he exclaims. Treanton smiles "Its my latest work of art I bought over three thousand pink mugs and arranged them into the shape of a giant dong and coin purse". Thwoompa's jaw drops " Its beautiful !" he says breathlessly, he reaches out to touch it and his hand is slapped by Treanton "Would you touch the 'Mona Lisa' !", Thwoompa thinks for a moment about all the ways he would touch the 'Mona Lisa' and the 'Got Milk' look he would leave it with but not wanting to offend his friend he simply says "Sorry!".

Treanton gestures for Thwoompa to sit "So what brings you here?". Thwoompa responds "Well its a strange story, to skip the boring parts. Im sure I saw your fireplace tattooed on Uncontrollables butte". "How odd !" said Treanton "If you want to have a look at it feel free, although the rooms being used at the moment. Im sure they wont mind. I myself have to get going I have a very hot date tonight". Thwoompa nods "Thanks buddy, I know the way" and with that he decends the stairs to the family room and pool room. Thwoompa notices all the beautiful ornaments adorning every surface "I love this place" he says to himself. From the door in the pool room he hears muffled sounds, He pushes the door back revealing the rape room in all its glory. The first thing to catch his eye in the dimly lit room is a solitary tear glistening as it hangs from a bound and ballgagged assling who is bent over a barrel. He then notices the dragon like creature pounding the crying assling, Jargadax hadn't even noticed the young gnomo enter the room.

Jargadax eventually turns and notices Thwoompa rubbing his crotch and tweaking his nipples "Thwoompa how ya doin?". "Oh hi" he responds. Jargadax stops what he is doing and begins to walk over to Thwoompa. Thwoompa can't help but wince once he sees the Sarnaks spikey erect dong still glistening with blood, He has just never liked barbed dongs. "Im being so rude" with that Jargadax walks out of the room and comes back in with a stool. He positions the stool behind the assling bent over a barrel "Come have a bit of fun" said Jargadax as he motions his head towards the assling. "I actually have something important to do, maybe another time. I need to have a look at this fireplace though. Is that ok ? You can continue. I didnt mean to interupt you, im sorry" Thwoompa says sincerly. "Its ok, Go for it! Time for me to get back to it" said Jargadax. Jargadax then looks down at his now floppy dong and sighs "Looks like im going to need ' The Bonn ' " with that Jargadax kicks the crate in the corner and out pops a froglok wearing leather head to toe. After ' The Bonn ' gets out of the crate he seems to follow Jargadax on an invisible leesh. Jargadax smiles and hisses as only Sarnaks can. Blood once again starts to engorge his spikey memeber. ' The Bonn ' begins to jump up and down with delight making muffled sounds of delight through his leather mask. Jargadax isnt gentle as he inserts himself into the asslings butte, the assling screams against the ballgag in his mouth. Thwoompa decides he has interupted enough and moves over towards the fireplace. He looks it over and remebers the tattoo, But how is he going to reach the part he wants to twist !.

Thwoompa mumbles like all good gnomos do and leaves the room, he comes back in with a large dining room chair. Thwoompa smirks as he puts the chair against the fireplace. He climbs up onto the chair and stands up, he reaches up but he is a long way short. Slap again his palm meets his forehead, but as quick as the slap sound he has an idea, he begins to climb the back support of the chair. As he reaches the top the chair topples and Thwoompa falls on his head. Jargadax momentarily turns around and giggles before resuming his entertainment. Thwoompa stands up curses then casts adept 1 healing on himself three times. "OK I need a new plan" he mutters to himself "hmm....gnomosh stilts... no no no... that will take too long.... I need help" Thwoompa does not want to disturb Jargadax again. Instead he quickly runs up the stairs and out the front, looking for the first person available. He sees someone just down the road, but wait they have no head! "Oh Norath!" Thwoompa exclaims. Thwoompa approaches the man "excuse me", the man turns or at least Thwoompa thinks he does its hard to tell when someone doesnt have a face. "Hi" says a friendly face, "Do you mind giving me a hand, Im a little too short to reach the top of Treanton's fireplace" asks Thwoompa. "Sure I dont mind at all, I'm Skritlore by the way. Im new to What and would love to help out any way I can". Thwoompa quickly leads Skritlore downstairs. "Oh dont worry about them" Thwoompa says to Skritlore as he gestures towards Jargadax and ' The Bonn ' "Maybe the best way would be if I climbed up on to your shoulders". Skritlore nods his head in agreement. Thwoompa decides there is no way he can climb onto his shoulders with all this heavy plate armour on, so he quickly strips. The now naked gnomo quickly climbs up Skritlore's back and firmly places a foot on each shoulder. Thwoompa giggles" Your headmist is tickling my balls" Thwoompa tries to ignore it and reach up to what he wants to twist. He can't he feels the blood pumping through his body, he knows its destination and sure enough his dong starts to respond. Once again he tries to fight it, he reaches up and grabs on just as his dong begins to explode. Skritlore jumps back "Look at my new shirt!" Thwoompa says "Sorry about that" as he hangs on for dear life. Thwoompa then notices that he has hold of woodern dong ornament that is part of the fireplace. As he twists it, He hears a loud Click! .

PART 3

Thwoompa begins to re-equip himself in his armour just as the back of the fireplace slowly creaks open revealing a passage. Thwoompa wastes no times and quickly scurries through the opening, as he does the torches on the wall explode with a eerie blue flame. A narrow staircase is illuminated, it seems somehow sinister with the blue light but it does not scare our brave hero and he begins the descent. As he follows the staircase ever further underground, he notices the walls are covered from the floor to the roof in ancient symbols depicting gnomo erotic sexual acts. He stops and looks closely at one, he traces his fingers over what appears to be too ogres suspending a gnomo between them in a devils threeway, there are indications showing the gnomo spinning like a pig on the spit between them. Also on each ogres shoulder is gnomos facing backwards defacating onto the spinning gnomo. "Jesus T Darkpaw, thats some hot stuff right there!" Thwoompa exclaims, while reaching under his plate breastplate and tweaking his nipples. "I don't have time for this now" he says while trying to fight the desire deep within him. He turns and once again begins descending, fighting the urge to look at more of the strange hieroglyphics. Once he reaches the bottom it opens out into a large room, giant pillars shaped like dongs seem to be supporting the roof although he thinks to himself maybe the are just decorations. At the far end of the chamber is a golden throne shaped like a dong and coinpurse, hovering above the thrones seat is a swirling etheral mist.

As Thwoompa approaches he sees faces start to form out of the mist, they appear to be in the throws of ecstasy. "Um ... Hi?" Thwoompa whispers. "Hang on we are almost finished" 20 voices seemingly at once say. With that he hears delightful etheral moaning and ectoplasm begins to shoot at random directions all over the room, A large wad comes to rest on Thwoompas face slowly dripping down his cheek and nose. Thwoompa wipes it off, just as the etheral mist moves forward and begins to take on a half-man form, before the transformation is complete Thwoompa exclaims "Wilan !". Thwoompa tries to hug his old friend but his arms pass right through the visage. "We are the ghosts of What's past" again 20 voices seem to chant in unison, "We knew it would be you who discovered us Thwoompa". The etheral mist begins to take on a new shape, then splits into 2 parts the first a fairy and the second a skeleton mounted on a horse. Thwoompa recognises his friend immediately as Adonra and Rory, her always loyal skeletal minion. They continue "We are trapped in the other realm, we cannot return to Norath" a single tear rolls down Thwoompas cheek. "But you know we need you here" Thwoompa struggles to say all the while fighting back an Ocean Of Tears. "You can aid us in returning" the voices continue, Thwoompa interupts "But what happened to you?". The mist takes on a new form this time a half-man clad in plate, Thwoompa recognises Aegius immediatly and a smile returns to his face. The voices speak again "We were all infected with aids ... in our buttes!". Again Thwoompa interupts "But who would do such a thing". The voices answer "It was Kroniko, he loves to give people aids ever since he contracted it from that dorf sailor in Qeynos Harbour". Thwoompa nods saddened by this news.

The mist once again takes a new form this time it is an Iskar who again forms into a Yah-lei. Thwoompa knows without doubt who this is"Drakkus" he exclaims. The voices begin to speak again "All is not lost we may return yet, we need you to obtain an ancient treasure for us", "what is it?" Thwoompa replies. "You must find and return to us the Golden Dong, you will not be able to do this alone. You must gather all of What and journey with them to Skyfire Mountains and enter Veeshans Peak. There you will have to defeat the powerful Dongzilla guardian of this ancient artifact. We must go now and leave you with your mission... One thing before we go, do you know the secret to life?" Thwoompa looks puzzled then splat etheral goo once again covers Thwoompas face. The voices say "PIE IN THE FACE" and Drakkus's visage giggles. Thwoompa sighs and says "He slimed me!" and begins to wipe the goo from his face. Before he is finished the etheral mist begins to swirl and moan again then dissappears. "Hello... hello?" Thwoompa yells. Dead silence is his only answer. Thwoompa begins to climb the narrow stairway again, he needs to gather all the members of What and inform them of what they must do. Who could organise such an event, Thwoompa realises who could get them altogether quickly and a smile creeps onto his face. As he reaches the top he notcies Jargadax is no longer in the rape room and decides he doesnt want to know if ' The Bonn ' is in his crate. There is something too creepy about that froglok he thinks to himself. He leaves Treanton's house and begins to seek out his friend. Thwoompa arrives on the dock and waits for his boat, A burly sea captain yells "Now leaving for the Isle of Mara". Thwoompa scurries aboard off to the Isle of mara.

PART 4

A cool breeze brushing against his face, Thwoompa leans over the side of the ship and with a mighty churn launches his stomachs contents into the ocean. "You know how much I love vomit porn, you could of at least vomitted on me" Thwoompa recognised the voice and turned with a smile. Aerienne stood with a hand on her hip and a smile on her face. They embraced for a long time before releasing and still holding one another looked deep into each others eyes, then once hugged each other tightly. "You look great, where have you been? what have you been doing? who have you been doing it with?" Thwoompa rushes out of his mouth. Aerienne responds "Slow down, Slow down and to start with you're the one who went away I cried myself to sleep everynight" Thwoompa lowers his head "I should of sent you some mail, I had an opportunity to make gnoll on gnomo porn, I could of at least sent you some!". Aerienne smiled and laughed "So what are you doing going to the Isle of mara, I thought you hated dong-fu?". Thwoompa's face takes on a more serious look "I do, but I must see the dong-fu master and call a What meeting". "What on Norrath for ?" Aerienne exclaimed. Thwoompa explained the important mission he was on and how he got it. "Wow this is well important than!" Aerienne exclaimed "You can count on me to be there".

They slowly walked along the deck on the boat till they reached the front, Aerienne leaned over the front and spread her arms, Thwoompa reaches up and grabs her belt buckle "It feels like im flying" Aerienne says with glee. "If only you were a man, this would be perfect" Aerienne smiles "You know I have a dong silly!". Thwoompa replies "But you're so feminine its very offputting" With that Aerienne spins around and unfastens her belt letting her pants drop to the floor unleashing a 12 inch dong. Thwoompa's mouth is agape "Its beautiful!" Aerienne pushes her hips forward running the mammoth dong along Thwoompa's cheek till it reaches his ear, Aerienne then wiggles her hips and Thwoompa giggles. Thwoompa slowly slides the dong back along his cheek and kisses the dongend. "Ohhhhh" Aerienne moans. Thwoompa then slowly inserts the dong into his mouth and using his hands slowly inches along it till his mouth meets the furry bush at the end. Thwoompa is now suspended in mid-air held up only by the rock hard dong. Aerienne licks the length of her index finger and then slides it into Thwoompa's cavernous buttehole "MmmmGurgleMmmm Ohmmmm" Thwoompa manages to get out. Aerienne then grips Thwoompa by the hips and casts Lucky Twirl Master I round and round Thwoompa twirls. Aerienne arches her head back and moans, she can barely control the urge to explode. Then her whole body begins to shudder and BAM, Thwoompa is sent flying through the air closely followed by litres of man-goo. Then whack he is suddenly stopped by something, he falls to the floor and in a daze gets up and tries to catch his breath. He feels a tap on his shoulder and turns around only to see a very angry ogre lurching over him. "Sorry about that!" Thwoompa quivers. "Yousa spill me ale!" The ogre grunts and then picks up the gnomo by his ear and with one swift motion headbuts Thwoompa back to the ground.

Thwoompas head is spinning, His vision is all blurry. He can see the comotion in the distance but cannot make out the figures. He staggers onto one leg but it crumbles and he falls back to the ground. He shakes his head and grits his teeth and manages to stand, he is still wobbly and the scene in front of him becomes more clear it appears the ogre had 2 friends with him and Aerienne had bravely jumped into the battle. With a solid backhand Aerienne sends one of the ogres over the side of the ship, As another turns to look she swings her dong and casts Uncanny Thrusts Adept III, The second ogre follows the first and falls into the water. Thwoompa gasps! The first ogre has armed himself with a dong-saber, he uses it to impale Aerienne through the chest. Aerienne reacts quickly and swings her dong around the ogres leg, tiping him off-balance. The ogre lets go of the dong-saber and tries to catch the side of the boat, with a strong pelvic thrust Aerienne uses her dong to send the ogre over the side and into the water. Aerienne collapses to one knee and pulls the dong-saber from her chest, Thwoompa rushes to her side"Thank you, Thank you!" he cries. Thwoompa begins to cast Arch Restoration Adept IV, it fizzles just as Aerienne slumps to the ground dead.

Thwoompa sighs "this is going to drain me" he rolls Aerienne onto her front and quickly removes his plate leggings. He grips his gnomohood in one hand as he looks down "This isnt going to work this is a womans butte" Thwoompa panics. He begins muttering to himself as only gnomos can "Thats it !" He reaches around and begins to play with the gorgeous 12 inch dong, His gnomohood responds he leans back and spits right onto the butthole, then he ever so gently eases his gnomohood into the welcoming opening. He begins thrusting his pelvis faster and faster, he cant quite make himself explode though. Inspiration strikes again he reaches around and begins to play with the now cold dong, "That done it !" he says with glee and BAM. He pulls out already exploding gnomo-goo is spraying everywhere, He collapses resting his face on the firm womanly butte, one arm dangling over the right leg. He is breathing heavy, it seems like an eternity then slowly he feels Aerienne rise, he looks up to see the spectral green bird gripping her shoulders. "What an adventure!" Aerienne exclaims " There is never a dull moment around you". Thwoompa laughs. A bell on the boat sounds, they both turn and look over the side and see the boat has arrived at their destination.

PART 5

As the boat arrives on the dock, Our hero breathes deep he has never really stopped to admire the beauty here. Then he grits his teeth he remembers why he hates this place, when he was a teenager he was obsessed with dong-fu, his bedroom was covered in posters of the great dong-fu masters. He came to the Isle of Marr to learn the ways of the dong, He was matched up randomly with another teenage dong-fu master wannabe, only one was to go through into training. A huge troll met him on the fight mat, his dong was bigger than his arms it almost reached the ground. Thwoompa was not going to let this sight phase him, his gnomohood hung out of his gi, the gong signaling the begining of the fight sounds. Thwoompa leaps into the air and with all his might swings his mighty gnomohood right into the trolls huge dong. The enormous green dong rocks from side to side and the troll laughs, a worried look covers Thwoompas face. The troll then with a series of quick pelvic thrusts almost breaks the poor gnomos gnomohood and slaps him on both cheeks, an insult in dong-fu circles. Thwoompa falls to the ground and wasting no time the troll tickles his huge dong and arches his head back and begins spraying the fallen gnomo with litres of troll-goo. This is the ultimate insult in dong-fu, Thwoompa cries, tears and troll-goo run down his face, he looks a mess.

Aerienne turns to Thwoompa once on the dock and says "I have some business to take care of, i'll be at the big what meeting so i'll see you there". Thwoompa nods and waves goodbye and Aerienne skips off into the distance. Thwoompa embarks up the road to the dong-fu temple, he can see it already. The dong-fu temple is a 200 metre high building shaped like a dong, The main road leading to the temple puts the temple in front of the sun setting of the afternoon. Now was the best time to view it, the sun was right behind the dongend at the top giving the whole building a wonderful glow. The chimney in the centre at the top was sunken and gave the illusion of goo billowing out the end at all times. As Thwoompa gets closer he sees a large crowd gathered around the central square, "what could be happening?" he wonders. Once he gets to the edge of the crowd he asks the nearest woodelf "whats happening?", The wood elf responds with a smile "They are having a dong-fu master friendly fight today, Im here to cheer on my hero". With that Thwoompa scuttles through the legs of the crowd and manages to get a front row position. He recognises the two masters immediatly, the first a large troll with a protection wok on his head, the trolls dong hangs down to his knees and is covered in blisters proabably form the intense training he recieves "Namreg" Thwoompa says with a smile. Thwoompa then looks over at Namreg's opponent, it is a skinny woodelf his dong is quite the sight it is long and thin, it is already erect in anticipation of the battle about to unfold "Ogglor" Thwoompa smiles again.

A gong sounds and the battle begins Namreg uses all his might and swings his huge blistered dong at Ogglors dong, quick as a flash Ogglor pulls his dong back and dodges the blow. Namreg spins around with the momentum facing away from Ogglor, Ogglor wastes no time and thrusts his long thin dong forward with blazing speed it enters Namregs buttehole with ease. "Round one Ogglor" a unseen voice calls. The crowd goes wild, they are waving around huge dong shaped balloons. The two combatants line up once more facing each other, they bow. The gong once again rings and Ogglor goes on the offensive swinging his pelvis to the left, Namreg has a different tactic this time and thrusts his large dong upwards, it hits Ogglors face with a huge slap a large blister on the end pops covering Ogglors face with puss. Ogglor falls onto his back stunned by the blow "Round two Namreg" the unseen voice once again calls. The crowd again goes wild screaming and cheering. Once again they line up facing each other and bow, the gong rings again. Namreg immediatley thrusts his huge dong upwards, the crowd gasps alltogether. Ogglor this time leans back and launches himself into a backflip using his dong to deflect the blow from the large blistered dong. A look of shock comes accross Namreg's face. Ogglor wastes no time and quickly thrusts his dong at Namreg's feet. The troll falls backwards "Round three and the win goes to Ogglor" the unseen voice calls. The crowd erupts into a cheer. Again the gong sounds and a hush descends through the crowd. Thwoompa now can see the unseen voice, he grits his teeth as a large troll slowly walks to the centre of the raised platform. Ogglor and Namreg snap to attention and bow their heads. The troll continues his slow walk to the middle his large dong is dragging on the ground, it is now bigger than Thwoompas previous encounter with it.

The crowd begins chanting "ESPADONG, ESPADONG, ESPADONG" in unison. Espadong raises his hand and silence befalls the crowd, As he begins to address the crowd Thwoompa sulks away, he cant do this. Once again Thwoompa heads down the road away from the dong-fu temple, he stops "I must, this is bigger than my humiliation!" he grits his teeth and turns around. This time as he passes through the crowd he is not gentle he shoves peoples legs to the side, knocking one person to the ground. He walks past the makeshift barrier and straight toward Espadong, two guards cross their dongs in front of the young gnomo blocking his path. Espadong notices and gestures for the guards to let him past, Thwoompa approaches "I need to talk to you, it is of dire importance". Espadong nods and with his hand gestures for the gnomo to follow, They walk towards the dong-fu temple. Once inside they sit on dong shaped beanbags. Espadong says "Why are you here Thwoompa?". Thwoompa explains the story so far to Espadong and the quest he is on and how they must gather all of What to conquer Dongzilla. Espadong nods "We cannot ignore this, I will call a meeting tommorow" He gestures over some guards and whispers in their ears, they run form the room. Espadong speaks once more "I have been here a long time and I have learned much, now i teach. There is something I should of done a long time ago, I would like to apologise for our fight all those years ago. I was young and foolish, I am sorry". With that Thwoompa leaps from his large dong shaped beanbag and embraces the large troll. They giggle, Espadong gives Thwoompa a dong-sai "Why dont you stay tonight, I would love it if you killed me then rez'd me" They smile and gaze into each others eyes.

PART 6

"We have a problem" said Espadong, Thwoompa raises his head from the dong-shaped pillow and begins to rub his eyes "What is it?". Espadong strokes his dong as he begins to speak "As you know today is fairy pride day, all of the guild fairys and enchanters are not going to come" Thwoompa gasps "But they must, how can we hope to defeat Dongzilla without the sparkly multicoloured distraction". Espadong thinks for a moment "You must go brave gnomo, go to Gayter Faydark and get them to come". They embrace once more before once again Thwoompa heads to the docks. The journey to Butcherblock mountains is an uneventful one as is the griffon ride to Gayter Faydark, even from a distance he can hear the commotion. As he walks over the last hill, he drops to the ground blinded by the multicolored lights seemingly filling the entire area. He once again manages to come to his feet and squinting tries again, This is no good he can't see anything just blurry silhouette's with a multicoloured background. "You're crazy coming to fairy pride day without sunglasses, here take this spare pair" Thwoompa puts on the sunglasses. "Atariv, thank you so much my brain was melting from all that colour". Thwoompa takes a moment to take in the scene, even with the sunglasses on it is still bright. The entire area is filled with fairys with smatterings of other races, there seems to be an oddly high number of topless male barbarians in black leather pants. Everyone seems to be having a great time jumping then floating around and dancing.

Atariv begins to cast Dictate master I "You know those sunglasses were not free". Thwoompa turns to Atariv, he doesnt know why but he cannot resist he has an overwhelming urge to give Atariv whatever he wants. Atariv smiles and gestures with his hand towards his crutch, Thwoompa wastes no time and dives under Atarivs dress. Thwoompa notices that Atariv has floppy dong and he cannot begin his work, so he uses his teeth to tug ever so gently on the hairs on the bottom of his coinpurse, he then slowly slides the entire coinpurse into his mouth and begins to hum the super mario brothers theme song. Atariv moans loudly, now his dong is responding. Thwoompa continues to suck and hum showtunes while he uses his hand to stroke the finely crafted dong. A drizzle of mangoo drips from the end of the dong. Thwoompa lets the coinpurse fall from his mouth and licks the length of his dong, once at the tip he slowly slides his mouth down the entire length then slides back to the tip and lets it pop out with a lovely slurping sound. Thwoompa grips the dong again and slaps it on his cheeks, Thwoompa then puts it back in his mouth and sucks hard on the end while working his hands up and down the shaft. Thwoompa sees Atariv's knees weakening and can feel the dong shaking getting closer to climax then BAM man-goo sprays all over Thwoompas face. Thwoompa is so happy to have pleased his master, Atariv lifts his dress and picks up the gnomo"You done good" Atariv then begins to lick his man-goo from Thwoompa's face. Atariv lowers Thwoompa to the ground again and says "Now you will be my dog" Thwoompa gets down on all fours and begins barking and growling, Atariv reaches into his bag and retrieves a leesh and collar, he firmly puts the collar on Thwoompa's neck. He then tugs the leesh and begins leading Thwoompa deeper into the gathering before them.

They stop at the base of a huge float on top is a leather clad troll he is getting a lapdance from 2 fairy's. Thwoompa recognises them as Taters, Oster and Blaquetooth and can remember coming to see them but about what he cannot remember, Maybe it was for a lapdance that sure is hot. Thwoompa shakes his head, Atarivs vision flashes yellow "No No No NOOOOOOOOO!" Thwoompa yells. Everyone around turns and looks, Thwoompa breaks the collar and throws it to the ground. "I am here for something important" Thwoompa says with a raised voice. The troll Taters stands up and pushes Oster and Blaquetooth to the floor. "We got the message, ok, you jerk. How could you interupt today! Today is the only day to celebrate fairy society, it happens once a year!" Taters says aggressively. Thwoompa calmly says "I understand but this is the most important guild meeting What has ever had, you want to hear what I have to say". Taters bows his head "Im sorry its just I love this day, what other day can I get a flutterfuck in the middle of the street in Gayter Faydark and noone bats an eyelid". Oster jumps and floats down from the float "No this is our day! You will not ruin it, I will not go" Others around the What float nod in agreement, then Oster morphs into a large black golem with a large black dong. He swings the large black dong and it hits Thwoompa in the face knocking him off his feet, Thwoompa manages to just avoid the next blow aimed at him on the ground. Oster swings again this time he doesnt miss, Thwoompa deflects the blow with his arm but it still hurts. Oster laughs and raises his arms to the crowd that has gathered, he turns and smiles and begins to lark about, Thwoompa staggers to his feet. He begins casting Meliorate adept IV, it fizzles "Tunare damn it" he curses, he changes his strategy instead he begins casting Matyr Strike master I. Oster is stunned, the smile on his face melts away and his lifeless smoldering body drops to the ground. The crowd is shocked.

Thwoompa shakes his head now he will have to rez Oster, as he grabs ahold of his buttecheek "Ow its hot" he exclaims. He fights through the pain but discovers another problem it appears Oster no longer has a buttehole. Thwoompa yet again mutters to himself in the way that only gnomos can then his face lights up, he reaches into his bag and pulls out his epic drilldo. After equipping it over his still floppy member he drills Oster a new buttehole. Thwoompa smirks he has done it again, he starts playing with his gnomohood trying to awaken it, The smirk fades whatever will I do he htinks to himself. At that moment a erudite man wearing a dress steps out from the gathered crowd, Thwoompa immediately recognises Onne. "Need some help?" Onne offers. Thwoompa thinks for a moment and says "I know just how you can help, we can start a man-train" Onne is obviously enthused by this idea, he lifts his dress to reveal an erect but very small 1 inch dong. "Oh no" Thwoompa exclaims "That just will not work!". Onne smiles and says "You forget, I am an illusionist!" Multicoloured sparkles cover his dong and it grows to an impressive 12 inches long. Thwoompa gasps then smiles, his gnomohood is begining to work. He spits in his hand then rubs it up and down his gnomohood, he then slides it into Osters new buttehole. Thwoompa then begins to shake his ass seductively, inviting Onne to enter. Onne wastes no time and slowly inserts himself into the gnomobutte "Dont be gentle I like it rough" Thwoompa says through gritted teeth. Onne begins pounding like a pornstar. Thwoompa sighs again "Its still not working!" just as he said it a barbarian steps from out of the crowd, Nightbear says "Maybe I can help?" Thwoompa gestures to Osters mouth. Nightbear removes his plate leggings revealing a impressive dong after a few quick strokes he is hard and ready to go, he inserts it into Osters mouth and all three begin thrusting faster and faster. The crowd cant control themselves at the sight of this and most have there dongs out and are stroking in time with man-train in front of them. BAM BAM BAM people in the crowd start shooting there loads of goo onto the man-train, Onne then pulls out and BAM shoots a load of man-goo over Thwoompa onto Nightbears chest. BAM BAM BAM the crowd launches more loads of man-goo onto the now smaller man-train. Nightbear and Thwoompa pull out at the same time and shoot loads of man-goo onto each other. They all collapse, some members of the crowd still havent shot their load and one by one start shooting onto the now derailed man-train. A green spectral bird grabs Oster by the shoulders and lifts him to his feet. He surveys the scene around him and laughs, he turns around but slips on the man-goo that is everywhere and falls with a splash, Man-goo splashes all over the watching crowd and the derailed man-train. They all laugh, Oster is the first to compose himself and speak "Ok Thwoompypoos, we will come". Thwoompa exclaims "Good to hear but we are going to be late, How will we ever make it in time?!?" Yet again Thwoompa begins muttering to himself in the way only gnomos can.

PART 7

Thwoompa wastes no time, he blows a snot bubble then presses his lips against it and says "Can you call this hero please, we also need to call all these heroes at the fairy pride day". Everyone watches as it floats away, a minute or so passes and a snot bubble comes floating down from the sky. It splats on Thwoompa's ear, he recognises the voice it is Hisenflaye "Sure, this is going to give us conjurers a real workout!". Thwoompa smiles and announces "All is well, everyone prepare to be called like heroes" Everyone cheers. Back in the guild hall Hisenflaye is mounting himself into stirrups while hiking up his dress, He leans back his head and whispers "Thwoompa" then begins inhaling sharply. A spectral mist forms and hovers above him and is inhaled. Hisenflaye strains, veins in his forehead pop, he makes a grunting sound and his buttehole begins to dilate and a plate helm begins to emerge. Slowly the figure edges from the buttehole, until with a splat Thwoompa falls to the ground, He stands up and wipes fecal matter from his eyes. Hisenflaye apologises "Sorry first call of the day is always the messiest". Thwoompa looks around and notices all the What conjurers lined up in stirrups "This is just the teamwork that will help us defeat Dongzilla!" he remarks. "Owwwwww!" A loud cry comes from one of the conjurers, Thwoompa looks and sees it is Crevice he is breathing heavy and tears are rolling down his face, As he approaches Bloodnose grabs Thwoompa by the shoulders "We have a problem, I dont think Oster changed from golem form before the call started" Thwoompa confirms it, he sees the large black head crowning. Bloodnose drops to his knees and begins the healing, he extends his tongue and rubs it around crevices rapidly stretching buttehole. "It's working !" Thwoompa exclaims again he has an idea he takes out his gnomohood and begins to stroke it. A few seconds later BAM he shoots some man-goo just above Crevice's widening buttehole, Bloodnose flicks his tongue over it then resumes healing the buttehole. Bloodnose has a real talent for healing Thwoompa thinks to himself. With things now in hand Thwoompa leaves the conjurers to do their thing.

The first thing to catch Thwoompa's eye is Blicero standing in the middle of the room, he has two kerans on all fours rubbing themselves against his leg whom Thwoompa recognises as Ruan and Annakie in a kitten mask. "Hey Thwoompy!" Blicero says with a smile, Ruan and Annakie just purr. Thwoompa responds "It's good to see you have finally come out of the closet as a furry" Blicero's face reddens " For Sol Ro's sake, I am a FURY not a FURRY!" Thwoompa manages to get out "But" before he is interupted "I will settle this once and for all, If i roll over 100 I am not a furry" With that he marches into the backroom and with two hands comes out holding a huge 1000 sided dice. He throws it into the room and walks over to it "76!!!" He says almost crying. With that he screams "FURPILE!" he rips off his shirt and puts on a pumkin mask and all the What furries rush to the middle of the room and start yiffing each other. Thwoompa notices a sarnak in the middle, it's Patio, he is using his barbed dong to penetrate a froglok from behind, Thwoompa recognises the froglok as Rakes, blood is splurting everywhere. Thwoompa walks over and asks "Are you ok Rakes ?" Rakes responds "Yah im loving this, Dont worry about the blood, Its my time of the month and I have a very bad case of crutchrot." Thwoompa sees an old familiar face, It's Tarbosh he he nuzzling and sucking at Ruans hind quarters. "Tarbosh, I havent seen you around for a long time! I thought you were in the other realm". Tarbosh smiles "No you're not that lucky, I have been setting up a furry ranch in the Commonlands with my new life partner Kayfabio" before Thwoompa can even say goodbye Tarbosh leaps onto the nearest cat fursona he can see and resumes nuzzling and sucking. It is not Ruan this time, It is Decoy, Decoy rolls over and his very pink dong slides out of its sheath like lipstick. Tarbosh wastes no time and inserts it into his mouth and begins quickly sliding his mouth up and down the shaft of the lipstick dong. They are both moaning, Thwoompa throws up a little in his mouth, while he respects their life choices, he feels somewhat uncomfortable watching it. He turns around and is given quite a fright "Whose gnolls are these?" Thwoompa exclaimed, Annakie steps forward "Sorry about that, they are not as well trained as I would like" Thwoompa just smiles in response. Annakie then leads the gnolls a short distance away and gets down on her knees, with a click of her fingers the gnolls slide their pink lipstick dongs out from the sheaths and begin peeing on her, Annakie rubs her hands up and down her body and uses her tongue to lick the streams coming from the lipstick dongs moaning the whole time. Thwoompa thinks to himself "I need to hang out with some normal people".

Thwoompa than walks accross the room and approaches an assling female sitting on a chair on one side is a man playing guitar rubbing his dong on her cheek, on the other side a barbarian is also rubbing his dong on her cheek. "Gerda, Bosarius and Hoch!, How are you?" They do not respond, they continue moaning amongst themselves. Thwoompa shrugs and begins walking away then he stops and shakes his head, some gnomos make him sick. He sees Corp walking along in a nappy saying "Baby Corp make huge mess in diaper, who will clean me up? Also I am sick the doctor diagnosed me with cummytummy, who will let me milk them?". Corp is heading towards Manchair who is doing what he does best acting as a chair for men, in this case he must be regretting his life choice as Itchibutt the ogre is sitting on him with Saphatorael also wearing a diaper sitting on his lap suckling on his moobs. Itchibutt leans down and picks up Corp and lets him suckle on the free moob. Corp vomits down Itchbutts front, he has accidently started sucking on a large pimple he mistook for a nipple. This pimple was lactating, Itcibutt grabs Corp and spanks his bottom, brown nuggets spray from the overfull diaper, making a real mess. Thwoompa has seen enough he decides to check on the progress the conjurers are making. As he approaches he sees they have made a lot of progress. Thwoompa walks up to Beepo "Hey hows it going? are we nearly done here" Beepo nods "We will need a short break before the meeting starts"

Thwoompa decides to have a bath before the meeting begins, He doesnt even wanna know how many bodily fluids he has been splashed with since his last bath. Thwoompa spends a good 20 minutes soaking in the tub scrubbing himself well. When he gets out and gets dressed again, he feels like a new gnomo. He is ready to address What now and convince them to undertake this mission. As he walks out to the main section of the guild hall. He notices that the furpile is still, no movement whatsoever. Everyone else in the room is looking at the pile, Thwoompa sees Deathplague close by looking at the scene and asks him "What happened here?" Deathplague responds "Rakes crutchrot was worse than she thought!". Thwoompa gasps is anything going to go right on this adventure he thinks to himself. Thwoompa starts muttering in the way only gnomos can then again a smile creeps accross his face. "I have an idea, Inquisitors, Mystics, Defilers, Wardens, Necros, Dirges join me at the furpile!" They all approach and Thwoompa fills them in on the plan, they begin shoveling the bodies into a large pile then they undress and begin stroking their dongs. Once they are all erect they join hands even the non rezers in what come and join in offering moral support more than anything practical and surround the furpile humping it faster and faster until they all climax at once BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM multiple loads of man-goo are tossed all over the pile, everyone collapses and gets themselves covered in man-goo. All that can be heard is heavy breathing coming from the pile then a flock of green spectral birds swoop down and grab the dead by their shoulders lifting them to their feet. Thwoompa stands and speaks "Lets get this meeting underway before anything else goes wrong!" Everyone laughs.

PART 8

Espadong bangs the gong with his massive dong, signaling the beginning of the guild meeting. Thwoompa walks to the stage at the front of the guild hall, he begins his address "Good people of What, well people of What! We have been given a quest. Our good friend Uncontrollable had a strange tattoo on his butte, upon closer inspection, I recognised it as the fireplace in Treanton's rape room and it showed a way to open the fireplace which revealed a secret staircase leading to catacombs. There I met the ghosts of What's past, they sent us in search of the Golden Dong. It is guarded by an ancient beast named Dongzilla, we will need all of What to defeat this terrible creature.". "Where is it" A voice shouts from the crowd. "We must venture through the Kydong Plains to Skyfire Mountains and enter Veeshan's Peak. Are we all in for this? We should leave as soon as possible!" Thwoompa answers. The crowd nods as one and cheer in merriment and they begin talking amongst themselves. Discontent steps forward from the crowd, a hush falls over the room. Everyone knows he is going to say something profound and sagely, he takes another step forward and another till he is facing the wall walking into it. He then dissappears. Everyone resumes talking.

Espadong once again pounds the gong with his massive dong then announces "I would now like to introduce tonights entertainment!" The crowd cheers "Our warm-up act is Ofifi!". With that Ofifi takes the stage, everyone claps. Ofifi removes his pants, then lies down on the stage, he holds a jar of ping pong balls in the air. The crowd cheers and counts along as he inserts all 37 balls into his buttehole. Ofifi strains his face then shoots the first ball into the crowd, no longer white the ball has turned a yellowish brown, Frohike leaps into the air and catches it in his mouth. The crowd goes wild, Ofifi begins shooting out the rest of the balls, the crowd scrambles to catch them. Next Ofifi holds up a tennis ball and slowly inserts it into his buttehole, the crowd again cheers. With a strain it pops out and hits Permagrin in the head, everyone laughs. Ofifi then grabs a bowling ball and holds it in the air "No way!" someone shouts from the crowd. But sure enough without even lubricant Ofifi begins to insert it into his buttehole, his face is red and veins are popping out, his dong becomes hard and starts shaking, he continues to slowly slide it in. Breathing heavy now he gives it the final push, it disappears into his buttehole. Ofifi's face is bright red with strain, he begins shaking and his dong explodes shooting man-goo along the length of his body and onto his face then the bowling ball launches, The crowd all scuttle out of the way of the flying bowling ball, it lands with a thud and rolls to the far wall. The crowd go wild jumping and hugging each other, screaming at the top of their lungs. Ofifi stands and takes a bow then walks off the stage back into the crowd, as he passes, he recieves pats on the back.

Espadong pounds the gong with his dong getting everyones attention "Now tonights main event, two skilled masters in a display of the anceint art of dong-fu!" The crowd cheers, Espadong gestures for the crowd to clear the central area. The crowd forms a makeshift ring and Espadong announces "First master this evening is Ogglor" The crowd cheers and begins chanting "Ogglor, Ogglor, Ogglor!" Ogglor walks from the crowd into the centre holding his hands high in triumph. Thwoompa notices Namreg leave the guild hall just as Espadong announces "Our next master this evening is Namreg" the crowd begins cheering "Namreg, Namreg, Namreg!" the chant slowly dies down as the crowd begin to mumble amongst themselves. Thwoompa speaks up "Namreg has been delayed he will be here shortly, sorry for the inconvenience guys". Thwoompa dashes out the front of guild hall just in time to see Namreg heading down an alley, Thwoompa rushes to catch up as he turns the corner he sees the troll down on his knees inserting the erect dong of a dorf sailor into his mouth, tears are running down his face. Thwoompa slowly walks up watching Namreg really go to town on the dorfs dong. Soon the dorf pulls out and shakes his warm dorf-goo onto Namregs face, he then flicks a copper coin to Namreg and walks away without even saying "thanks". Namreg slumps to the ground now sniffling trying to hold back the tears, Thwoompa wraps his arm around Namregs shoulder "Everyone is waiting for you back there!" Namreg cries loudly, then slowly composes himself and says "I cant do it, Ogglor beat me, I was humiliated at the dong-fu temple. How can I ever show myself in public as a master again" He then lowers his head and sobs some more. Thwoompa smiles "Hey I should know something about humiliation, Its one of my biggest turn ons. You need to go back in there and show the guild that you deserve to be a master of dong-fu" Namreg looks up with a sparkle in his eye and says "You're right, just one thing first!" With that he starts to remove Thwoompa's plate leggings and before his gnomohood is even erect, slides it into his mouth and begins to work on it.

Meanwhile back in the guild hall, the bards have taken the stage playing music and everyone is dancing and drinking ale. BOOM the door to the guild hall explodes, shattered wood sprays the crowd. The crowd is suddenly silent and they all turn to face the door, Namreg is standing in the doorway in his Crouching Donger master I stance. The crowd cheers, Espadong bangs the gong with his dong and announces "Now we shall have our display!" The crowd quickly scurries around forming another makeshift ring. Ogglor and Namreg move to the centre and face each other, they then bow. Espadong announces "Round one, Fight!" Ogglor feeling confident swings his dong left, right, left in a quick combo. Namreg meets each blow with his own dong, deflecting them, then he returns with a combo of his own, he swings his dong to the left than the right, Ogglor deflects these but is not expecting the final blow and his face meets the full might of Namreg's dong. Ogglor lifts off the ground and flies back a few feet before landing on his back with a loud thud. "Round one goes to Namreg!" The crowd cheers. Ogglor slowly staggers to his feet still staggered by the mighty blow. Again he meets Namreg in the centre of the makeshift ring and they bow. Espadong announces "Round two, Fight!" Namreg immediately turns around and lets Ogglor slide his dong deep into his buttehole. The crowd is puzzled a light clapping breaks out but quickly dies down. Espadong announces "Round two goes to Ogglor" They once again meet in the middle and bow to one another. Ogglor doesnt know what to make of that last round and has a puzzled look on his face. Espadong announces "Round three, Fight!" Ogglor leaps into the air and swings his dong at Namreg, Namreg dodges to the left. Once he lands Ogglor wastes no time, he thrusts his dong in a pelvic flurry at Namreg. Namreg manages to dodge or deflect every blow, the crowd cheers and Espadong nods his head in admiration. Ogglor takes a breath and as he goes to attack again, Namreg's dong moving at high speed slaps him on the left cheek, Ogglor is stunned and takes a step back, before he has composes himself, Namreg's dong slaps his right cheek. Ogglor steps back his face red with rage, He inhales a deep breath just as Namreg leaps into the air showing remarkable agility for a troll, he spins 1080 degrees, spinning his dong at incredible speed. It strikes Ogglor right in the nose sending him flying backwards at incredible speed, so much speed that he passes right through the wall of the guild hall. Namreg then takes a tight grip of his dong and works it till he explodes sending litres of troll-goo out the hole in the wall onto Ogglor. The crowd goes wild and rush around Namreg slapping him on the back and hugging him just as Espadong announces "Round three and the win goes to Namreg!" Once the cheering dies down, the merriment begins again. After a while Thwoompa once again takes the stage and announces "Tommorow we shall leave for the Kydong Plains, But tonight we party!" Everyone cheers and the bards once more take the stage, everyone starts dancing with their dongs out.

PART 9

As Thwoompa stares over the side of the ship he notcies some movement but cannot make out what it is through the heavy fog. He strains his eyes harder but can see nothing, he feels a tap on his shoulder and turns around to see a female rat, wiggling her nose at him. "Hi" says Thwoompa, Linen responds "Im bored, we have been at sea for hours now and im sick of looking at this ugly fog". Thwoompa inquires "What did you have in mind?". Linen giggles "We could you know ...". Thwoompa's face turns red and he dry retches "But you have a vajvaj!". Linen again giggles "I also have a tail !" Linen then slides her tail between her legs and Thwoompa admires the makeshift dong. Thwoompa wastes no time removing his pants, then throws them to the side, Linen slides the makeshift dong slowly into Thwoompa's eager buttehole, they moan in unison. Linen then uses her tail to lift Thwoompa to her face level and licks his left eyeball. Linen then lowers Thwoompa, grabs him by the hips and begins thrusting. A nearby woodelf, Asmok is looking on intently, in no time flat his pants hit the floor, his dong is already standing at attention, ready to serve. He begins stroking his dong watching the female rat pounding the gnomo, who is obviously having the time of his life. "Oh yah, sooo hot !" Asmok remarks. Asmok is working his hands faster and faster up and down his dongshaft, he is struggling to hold in his explosion BAM a large wad of elf-goo goes flying through the air and lands on Thwoompa's chest. Thwoompa and Linen stop mid thrust and look at Asmok. "I am so sorry" Asmok says almost coming to tears. Thwoompa giggles and says "Well you could at least join in!" Asmok walks over and frowns, he gestures to his no limp dong and says "I'm sorry, it takes me a while to recharge". Thwoompa giggles again and says "Linen doesnt even have a dong and we found a way to have fun! come here" As Asmok approaches Thwoompa gestures for Asmok to turn around and Thwoompa, still supported by Linen, grabs Asmoks buttecheeks one in each hand and holds them apart, he then begins to lovingly lick Asmoks buttehole. Asmok smiles and begins to pant, Linen resumes thrusting her makeshift dong into Thwoompa's eager buttehole going deeper and deeper. Thwoompa uses his tongue and goes deeper and deeper into Asmok's buttehole, Asmok begins to quiver and shake. Thwoompa slides his tongue out of Asmok's buttehole but it does not come alone, a long dense poo-dong follows, Once it is out about 6 inches Thwoompa begins to slide his mouth around the poo-dong, sliding it in and out of his mouth, Linen moves her hand so she can support the gnomo with just one and uses the other hand to start massaging his gnomohood, they continue for a couple of minutes BAM BAM, Thwoompa's load of gnomo-goo splats on Linen's face, just as Asmok has an anal explosion and the poo-dong explodes followed by a surge of not so solid poo coating Thwoompa from the face down to his gnomohood. The whole boat shakes, Linen remarks "You rocked my world gnomo !" as a glob of gnomo-goo drips from her whiskers, she lowers Thwoompa to the deck and they begin cleaning themselves.

The boat shakes again, this time everyone looks around worried "What was that!" Thwoompa exclaims, just as the boat lifts high into the air, sending everyone crashing to the deck. Large dongs begin to rise from all around the ship that is suspended high above the water. The dorf captain scrambles to his feet and screams "DONGKKEN !" and arms himself with an oar scavanged from a nearby lifeboat. He whacks the nearest dongticle with all his might, it retaliates and clubs him, he launches into the air and into the fog with a cry of pain. Jargadax shouts "Nooo!" a second to late, he continues "You can't beat a Dongkken with brute strength, Everyone tickle and caress the dongticles !". At that moment a large dongticle reaches around the ship and wraps itself around the mast, and with a mighty tug, snaps the mast and drags it over the side. More dongticles begin to come over the sides of the boat knocking people and cargo over, the members of What do there best to tickle and caress the multiplying dongticles. The ship begins to shake and then snaps in the middle, once again knocking everyone to the deck of the ship and sliding towards the ends, the members of What all slowly regain their footing and once again begin massaging and tickling the dongticles, the ship begins to shake and shudder in time with the dongticles then BAM BAM BAM BAM the dongticles start spraying the boat with seafoam then the dongticles begin retreating into the water and the ship drops from the sky back the water with a mighty crash.

Thwoompa raises his head and looks around, he is on a beach, he can see people he does not recognise of all races dragging lifeless bodies from the water onto the beach. The water is filled with debris, seafoam and floating bodies. Thwoompa notices a iskar dragging the body of a comrade near him, he stands and approaches the iskar "Thank you for this, we were attacked by a Dongkken", the iskar nods and replies "It is fine friend, We all rushed down to the shore once we saw the debris floating in with the tide". Thwoompa smiles and asks "So ... um, Where are we?" The iskar responds "You are a short distance from the Kydong docks!" Thwoompa cheers, the iskar giggles and walks back to his task. Thwoompa knows what must be done and once again discards his pants, he starts rezing the bodies. Once the rezs are complete the brave adventures follow their rescuers to the Dock and gather around the fires, Thwoompa is already mostly dry and begins to stroll around the dock. Kydong dock serves not only as a dock, but also a large trading market. As Thwoompa approaches a stall, a merchant greets him "Hey you look like my favourite kind of gnomo !", Thwoompa giggles and responds "Yah, And what kind is that?". The merchant smiles and says "One who can appreciate a good bargin" With that he reaches into his stall and retrieves a 12 inch long broomstick, it is fatter than normal though and is about as round as the gnomo's arm. "This my friend is a genuine oak broomstick!" Thwoompa's eyes light up "How much?", The merchant replies "For you my gnomo friend, just 1 platinum" Thwoompa nods enthusiastically and the exchange is made, The merchant bows and remarks "You guys look like you have had enough fun with dongticles to last a lifetime, might be best if you stick to the roads while in Kydong plains, Dongticle trees grow wild not far from the paths" Thwoompa thanks the merchant and then struts triumphantly back to the fires with What members gathered around, everyone has started cooking food they bought at the docks and the smell is overwhelming, Thwoompa straps the broomstick to his back and mouth watering, grabs himself a plate. After sitting and eating, the members of What begin to talk, the bards start the singing and dancing. Thwoompa sits and watches. Grumblebutt who is sitting next to Thwoompa, nudges him and asks "Whats that on your back?", Thwoompa jumps to his feet "I almost forgot, wanna help me try it out?". Thwoompa helps remove Grumblebutt's pants, then his own, Thwoompa gets down on all fours and Grumblebutt slowly slides the broomstick into Thwoompa's butthole, Grumblebutt then turns around and slides down the broomstick sticking out of Thwoompa's buttehole, their buttecheeks meet with a slap. They then start gyrating into each other, Grumblebutt remarks "I'm just not feeling this !" and slides off the broomstick, Thwoompa reaches around and pulls it from his own buttehole then says with a frown "Hmm I should of known, its a teak broomstick ! How could I of been so stupid !" He turns to look at the merchant stalls at the dock, they are empty. He shakes his head and tosses the worthless teak broomstick in the nearest fire. There is a loud banging sound, Thwoompa looks to see Jargadax banging on a metal pole, he then announces "Tonight we are going to rest, at first light tommorow we shall continue our journey, for now enjoy your evening and make sure to get a good nights sleep". Everyone resumes what they were doing.

Thwoompa wakes up and stretches, he opens his eyes but he cannot see, he thrashes about and sits up, He sees Facekick was squating above him, his coinpurse dangling. Facekick laughs then kicks the gnomo in the face "Thats how I get my name !" then he dashes away into the camp. Thwoompa remarks "What a jerk!", Thwoompa notices Jargadax preparing his belongings and unpacking ' The Bonn ' from his makeshift crate made from debris of the boat. As Thwoompa approaches Jargadax he waves and says "Morning gnomo, ready to go?" Thwoompa nods "I thought I should mention this, one of the merchants from the docks warned me of wandering off the road, he said dongticle trees grow wild". Jargadax replies "Well i've had enough dongticles to last this lifetime, i think staying on the road might be a very good idea !" They both laugh. Thwoompa notices everyone is almost ready to depart and are starting to wander towards the road, Thwoompa follows a group and they go to the road and wait. Before too long Jargadax followed closely by ' The Bonn ' starts to lead the large group of What down the road towards the skyfire mountains. It is a very boring walk, the scenery is bland and repetitive, so the brave adventurers entertain themselves with conversation and song. Thwoompa is dragging his feet and falling further and further behind, if only he had long legs, this journey wouldnt be so grueling. He notices a small group leave the path and duck out of sight into the trees lining the road, he leaves the road to follow them, Again he wishes he had longer legs so he could see over the underbrush. He stumbles about for a while before hearing a commotion in the distance, he changes direction and heads towards the sound. He pushes some low lying branches to the side and notices the group in a circle, As he approaches he sees Zorl and Thutotemes in the middle of the group. They are waving their dongs around haphazardly, occasionally meeting with a loud slap sound. They have obviously been inspired to try some amateur dong-fu, Zorl leaps into the air and tries to emulate Namreg's finishing blow on Ogglor but falls down, face first. Everyone laughs, Eldist walks up to Zorl and offers him a hand up, once up their hands do not release and instead Zorl pulls Eldist closer to him and they embrace and kiss.

Suddenly a dongticle, quick as a flash grabs Zorl by his leg and begins dragging him away, Eldist startled grips tighter on Zorl's hand and is dragged after him through the underbrush. The small group gasps as one and begins chasing the dongticle dragging away their friends. They arrive in a clearing and see that Zorl and Eldist have now been grabbed by more dongticles, their arms are pinned to their sides, a dongticle is holding their legs apart and a dongticle is sliding its way into their butteholes, Zorl lets out a scream, which is soon muffled by a dongticle sliding its way into his throat. Quechal, Roastbeef and Landrus rush forward grabbing makeshift weapons on the way, sticks and rocks from the ground, they begin beating on the dongticles trying to fight a way to their friends. Quechal is knocked to the ground by a dongticle, Roastbeef turns and offers Quechal a hand but is grabbed by a dongticle and lifted into the air, Quechal is then grabbed by a dongticle and also lifted into the air. Landrus puts up a valiant fight before he too is grabbed by a dongticle. The dongticle tree now has them all suspended high off the ground, the small group remaining can do nothing but watch in horror as their friends are roughly penetrated while they struggle against the dongticles holding them in place. Thwoompa then remembers learning about dongticle trees in gnomo school "Dont struggle, your resistance only makes it's dongticles harder !" he yells. He sees Quechal with tears streaming down his face, still struggling with all the might he can muster. Roastbeef stops thrashing about and instead starts to moan with enjoyment, the dongticle sliding down his throat slides out and shoots tree-goo all over his face, followed by the dongticle sliding up his buttehole it shoots tree-goo all over him, the rest of the dongticles holding him start shaking with extasy and he drops to the ground, he scrambles away from the tree as fast as he can, one by one the people suspended by the dongticles submit to the tree and recieve their loads of tree-goo. Quechal is still struggling and sobbing, new dongticles are wrapping around him trying to find new orifices, one finds his nose and inserts itself stretching the nostril out and making it bleed. The blood acting as a lubricant allows the dongticle to slide in further, he continues sobbing, everyone begins to shout "Submit to the tree, its your only hope !", "Start enjoying it !", "Moan a little !". Quechal tries to enjoy it but is obviously pained by the penetration and now the dongticles are in a sexual frenzy. He begins sobbing again, everyone continues shouting to Quechal and a wolf begins howling in the distance, it almost sounds like a cry. Quechal with a look of determination on his face, starts to moan. The dongticle tree begins to shake, then all at once the dongticles begin spewing tree-goo everywhere, Quechal drops to the ground with a thud. He quickly regains his footing and runs through the trees not even pushing the low branches out of his way. Everyone follows but cannot keep up, they lose sight of him but they continue running. They eventually reach the road and Quechal is curled up in a ball crying, they help him to his feet and without saying anything begin walking along the road once again, towards Skyfire Mountains.

PART 10

The small group lagging behind eventually rejoin the main What party, just as the lush green scenery fades into a barren landscape covered by white snow. Tewdrig begins to shiver, wearing butteless chaps is not the best idea in this cold environment, he approaches Jargadax and says "This environment is not for me, I am going to scout ahead" Jargadax nods. With that Tewdrig pulls a small drum out of his pack and beats it, A large direwolf with a pink saddle runs from down the path till it joins Tewdrig. Stee notices the direwolf and whistles, he begins walking to the front of the party, he arrives at the front just as Tewdrig grips the direwolf by the saddle and slides his dong, slowly into the direwolf's buttehole, The direwolf howls with pleasure and gallops at a fast pace towards the Skyfire Mountains. Stee remarks "What a beauty !". Jargadax overhears and smiling to himself walks up to Stee "Would you like to play with my direwolf ?". Stee nods enthusiastically, and Jargadax removes his drum from the bag ' The Bonn ' is carrying. With a quick bang another direwolf wearing a pink saddle runs up to Jargadax, The direwolf licks Jargadax's face and Jargadax returns the favour licking the direwolf's tongue, then says "He's all your's, Treat him right". Stee's face lights up and he says "I Will", Jargadax once again resumes walking. Stee pats the direwolf, slowly working his way down the beast till he reaches it's butte, he leans in and caresses the direwolfs buttehole with his tongue, The direwolf pants. Stee then reaches around and starts playing with the direwolf's dong sheath, soon enough, like lipstick the pink dong slides from it's sheath. Stee wastes no time and quickly descends to his knees, crawling under the direwolf. He uses his tongue to carress the end of the direwolf's dong, rubbing it up and down the shaft and licking circles around the tip. Stee then slowly slides his lips down the dong all the way down the pink shaft and continues past the hairy sheath, he uses his tongue once more to flick and tickle the direwolf's dangling coinpurse. Stee then begins sliding his mouth up and down the shaft of the lipstick dong. The direwolf is panting very fast now and suddenly lets out a mighty howl, just as his dong begins to shake, Stee slides his mouth off the lipstick dong and wolf-goo runs down his chin then BAM the direwolf's dong shoots covering Stee's face with wolf-goo. Stee wipes the wolf-goo from his face but is not finsihed yet, he gets to his feet and lifts his dress, exposing his swollen dong. He grips the pink saddle and slides his dong into the direwolf's buttehole, The direwolf howls again and begins racing forwards. Stee mounted on the direwolf starts running circles around the group of adventurers. Stee is laughing with glee in between moans, as he nears the front BAM he shoots his load of man-goo into the direwolf and overcome by exctasy lets go of the pink saddle, falling backwards he lands on his butte in the snow. Nearby members of What laugh, Jargadax approaches and offers Stee a hand "You sure look like you had fun !". Stee responds with a nod unable to speak, still panting from his wild ride.

Tewdrig continues riding the mounted direwolf, he is now past the snowfields of the Kydong Plains and back to lush green fields. There are not as many trees in this area and he can see What's destination in the distance, molten lava spews from Veeshan's Peak. Tewdrig then notices two young boys walking along hand in hand on the side of the road, Tewdrig stops behind them "Hey kids, Want a lolipop ?" he says as he reaches into his saddle bag retrieving two lolipops. He holds them out to the young boys, the boys take the lolipops and start sucking on them. Tewdrig smiles and says "You know I have a special lollipop with a real gooey cent....". "What are you doing?" an unseen voice calls. Tewdrig turns to see a man walking from behind a nearby rock still pulling his pants up. Tewdrig waves and gallops off at a fast pace. Soon Tewdrig notices the road is sloping upwards and he cannot see beyond, he must be getting close he thinks to himself. Once he reaches the top of the incline, He sees the valley below and he rubs his eyes "What is this ?" he remarks to himself. The entire valley is full of huge flying sperms, Tewdrig decides to have a closer look. He dismounts the direwolf and slaps it, it runs off back down the road and Tewdrig walks towards the closest flying sperm. Tewdrig thinks to himself "I wonder what this sperm tastes like ?". As he gets close the sperm starts to fly towards him, Tewdrig continues heading towards the flying sperm, once they meet the sperm slides around him, like a cat seeking affection. It is slimy, but Tewdrig likes the feeling of it and lets it carress his body, once it is near his face, he extends his tongue and licks the sperm "Yup thats sperm all right !" he says with a laugh. Then Tewdrig notices the teeth, the jaw of the sperm opens and with a snap it bites off Tewdrig's face, he screams and manages to just push the flying sperm away, he runs back the way he came, barely being able to see with most of his face gone including one eyeball. The sperm is too fast though, it snaps again and this time removes both of his buttecheeks. Tewdrig slumps to the ground dead.

Thwoompa makes his way to the front of the band of What adventurers as they start to walk up the incline. Jargadax has a worried look on his face, Thwoompa inquires "Whats wrong ?". Jargadax turns to Thwoompa and says "It's Tewdrig, he went ahead to scout and he hasn't returned" Thwoompa shares the worried look but they shrug and continue, once they reach the top of the incline, They stop and take in the view of the valley. They notice the huge flying sperms everywhere, and further down they notice the sun reflecting off some metal. They hurry down into the valley and discover Tewdrig's messy remains, Thwoompa leans down to inspect it. "What could of done this?" he remarks, a sperm starts flying towards them, they watch as it approaches. They see no threat and let it come close, it begins to rub itself against Thwoompa. The flying sperm once more bares its teeth, Jargadax is quick and casts Slanderous Assault master I, the sperm responds and turns it's attack towards Jargadax, Jargadax slams his dong-shield into the sperms face, then quickly lashes forward with his dong-sword. The flying sperm drops to the ground lifeless. Everyone cheers, Jargadax shouts "Be careful everyone, these flying sperms must be Dongzilla's minions". Thwoompa removes his pants, preparing to rez Tewdrig, he looks puzzled, how can he find the buttehole through this mess. Thwoompa starts muttering to himself in the way only gnomos can, he scratches his head and paces then slumps to the ground behind Tewdrig and begins to cry. Jargadax asks "Whats wrong ?". "Theres no buttehole, How can I rez him?" Jargadax shrugs. A ghostly swirling viasage then appears in front of the body and begins to speak "Use the force Thwoompa, Use the force !". Thwoompa recognises Wilans voice and his eyes light up, he stands and grips his gnomohood, massaging it till it's ready to begin work. Thwoompa straddles the bloody butte and forces his gnomohood down, it slides along the bloody remains of the left cheek and eventually finds an opening. Thwoompa works it in and out and builds himself to a state of exctasy until BAM, he shoots a load of gnomo-goo on the bloody remains of the butte. He slumps down and soon a spectral green bird comes and grabs Tewdrig by the shoulders dragging him to his feet, his face and butte has now been restored. Tewdrig hugs Thwoompa.

The What adventurers set out once more, the flying sperms make random attacks but they are no match for the band of adventurers and What leaves a trail of dead sperm as the walk. They eventually reach a large wooden door, it is covered by a blue etheral shield of what appears to be buttes. Jargadax moves close to inspect it, he reaches out and touches it, it is cold, he pushes it but it does not budge, He leans back and with all his might he swings his dong-sword, it has no effect. Jargadax announces "We have a problem!" A few other members of What gather around and they begin to discuss it. Cyniper is easily bored and decides to gather some people for a quick game of ' Soggy Sao's ', which is a game very popular in What. The rules are simple a biscuit is placed on the ground in the centre of a group of men, they all shoot at it with man-goo, the last person to shoot their load of man-goo onto the biscuit has to eat it. Cyniper gathers a small group and they begin to play, Cyniper is smiling as they begin and feeling very confident, he strokes his dong with lightning speed, 20 seconds later BAM he shoots a load of man-goo with such force it doesnt go where he would like. Instead the load of man-goo travels towards the door and with a moaning sound, part of the shield dissappears. They other players all shoot their loads onto the biscuit, just as everyone begins to cheer. Cyniper knowing the rules, reaches down and picks up the biscuit and begins to eat it. Jargadax starts giving directions to nearby adventurers, they line up and begin stroking their dongs BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM they shoot in unison and their loads of man-goo at the shield covering the door. The shield shudders and dissappears, once more everyone cheers. The giant wooden door then begins to swing open.


PART 11

As the door opens a huge whoosh of blue etheral flame, explodes from beyond. The adventurers knowing no fear enter into a large grand tiled area, torches burn with the same blue etheral light, surrounding the room are statues of dongs of all sizes. Ailolas remarks "I don't know what I like more! The tall thin dongs or the short fat ones?". Everyone nods in agreement. Beyond the entrance area is a long winding passage, forcing the brave adventurers to walk shoulder to shoulder in groups of three. The pathway begins to open out, getting wider and wider until the blue flames no longer show the roof, large pillars of blue flame begin to light the area seemingly leading them along a new path. As they come around a bend, Staying in the middle of the blue flame pillars, They notice two large dongs blocking them from advancing, they appear to be coming out of the walls of the cavern and appear to be lifeless. Glottis with a smile "They look so real, they are glorious !" he then uses his left hand to tweak his nipple, While his right sneaks it's way to Tann's crutch. Tann quickly responds and reaches his left hand down and lifts Glottis's dress then slides up and down Glottis's dong shaft. The large dongs suddening spring into action, becoming rock hard and pointing right at the adventurers, The eyes of the dong open revealing eyeballs. The eyeballs seem to peer left and right then shoot out of the dongs and a very fast pace, followed by hundreds of sperms with teeth, much smaller than the ones outside. They fly at the party of adventurers, the adventurers react quickly bringing out shields and the adventurers in dresses hiding behind the shields of others. The sperms splash against the wall of shields, most bouncing to the ground then writhing unable to propel themselves. Some sperms deflect from the shields and head towards Glottis and Tann, Tann notices at the last second and turns shielding Glottis from the onslaught, Tann looks into Glottis's eyes and smiles, a tear rolls down Glottis's face. The sperms rip and tear at Tann, until Glottis is only holding the top half of Tann, The rest has been turned to an unrecognisable mass of blood, bone and sperm. The other brave adventurers draw their dong-swords, dong-daggers, dong-sai's and charge at the large dongs, beating and clubbing them till they fall limp once more. Some continue beating the now lifeless dong, most turn and look at what remains of Tann, Glottis is now crying, kneeling over the remains. Glottis sniffles "He can never be rezd now he has no butte !". Crying breaks out in the crowd, Thwoompa looking determined starts to pace back and forwards, muttering in the way only gnomos can. He then turns pushing the legs of others out of the way, he moves to the remains "Everyone stand back! This could get messy". He then removes his plate leggings once more and gets down on his knees, he begins scooping the remains into a pile, pushing it against the top half of Tann he then scoops a hole in the middle, and still holding the pile slides his gnomohood into the mess. He thrusts his pelvis into the pile faster and faster, but to no evail he cannot bring himself to the climactic rez. A sweat breaks out on his brow and with a determined snarl begins thrusting even faster, Bloody mess is spraying the watching crowd, they back away to avoid getting more on them. Thwoompa finally moans loudly, echoing off the walls of the cavern and begins shaking, he backs up and begins shooting gnomo-goo over the mess before slumping over face first in the mess, spraying the crowd with blood and gnomo-goo. He is breathing heavy and has his eyes shut, he feels someone lift him and he opens his eyes just in time to see the spectral bird lifting a now complete Tann to his feet.

They push the large dongs out of the way and continue following the path of blue flame pillars. They soon see a doorway and enter single file, after the door is a much larger passageway lit by blue torches, Jargadax leads the procession, The passageway turns and Jargadax holds up his hand signalling everyone to stop, then turns and puts a finger over his mouth signalling quiet. A few people sneak a peck around the corner and their faces freeze, frozen by shock. Jargadax whispers "Around this corner is the largest sperm I have ever seen, I have a feeling he is not going to be friendly. We need to plan this carefully. I am going to stand in the corner in view and will taunt him to attack me, everyone else dogpile into the corner back there out of sight. Then everyone jump out and let him have it !" Everyone rushes to the corner, Thwoompa is first, he loves this part. Everyone begins cramming into the corner, their dongs and coinpurses push and rub into the gnomos face. Jargadax then whispers "Oh I hope this goes well, ten seconds". He then turns to the giant flying sperm and shouts "YOU"RE THE UGLIEST LOOKING SPERM I HAVE EVER SEEN, THE ONLY SPERM I WOULDNT WANT IN MY MOUTH !". The giant sperm wiggles to life and bares it's teeth and shouts "THIS IS ONE SPERM YOU CAN'T SWALLOW !" and thrusts itself through the air at Jargadax, It opens it's mouth wide and slams it's jaw down on Jargadax, it then lifts him off the ground and begins to chew him, just as everyone begins whacking the giant sperm with their weapons, others throw magical dong shaped bolts and some shoot rainbow lights everywhere. Jargadax mutters in between groans of pain "This hurts, PLEEEASE heal me Thwoompa !", Thwoompa responds "That never works !" and begins to bash on the giant sperm with his dong-hammer. The giant sperm makes a loud squealing sound then shouts "YOU HAVE BESTED ME, BUT YOU WILL NOT BEST MY MASTER !" dropping Jargadax's now lifeless body from his jaws, it then falls to the ground and splits open revealing a wooden chest. Locia shouts "WE GOT WOOD" Everyone laughs at the double entendre. Once the rez on Jargadax is complete, he slaps Thwoompa "Damn you gnomo !" he exclaims. Aerienne approaches the wooden chest and says "I better check for traps" and slides her dong into the locking mechanism, she slides her dong out of the lock and it turns green and puss begins to run out of the end. Blicero quickly takes to his knees and says "I can cure you !" He slides Aerienne's dong in and out of his mouth occasionally slapping it on his cheeks. Aerienne begins to pant and starts shooting man-goo on Blicero's face, Her dong returns to it's usual colour. Jargadax then kicks open the wooden chest to reveal a cloth cap, it is pink and adormed with ten large floppy dongs, the dongs writhe as if alive. Everyone shudders with excitement, someone shouts "But how will we decide who gets it ?", everyone begins talking amongst themselves. "Clearly it's a ranger item", "No a paladin would benifit more from it", "It was designed for an illusionist". Jargadax pulls a two large dice from his bag strapped on the back of ' The Bonn '. They all take turns rolling the dice, at the end Crevice rolls the highest and is awarded the cloth cap. Everyone slumps their heads someone mutters "Damn Crevice, He is too lucky with the dice !". Crevice doesn't waste any time and puts it on his head, Everyone crowds around looking at it and admiring it, some reach out and touch the writhing dongs.

The adventurers move into the large hall, former home of the giant sperm. It is a very elegant area on the walls are large paintings of dongs and ornamental pillars shaped like dongs spread about the walls. The roof arches up like a tent and a large blue ball of flame hangs above them, lighting the entire room. Jargadax says "Guys we need to rest before we continue and confront Dongzilla", Everyone nods in agreement. Everyone spreads out, sits down and begins to relax. After a while Randomactzz stands up and says "I'm bored, lets play a game or something", "What can we play?" someone says. "How about charades ?" Randomactzz responds. Everyone groans in unison, "It will be fun, I promise !". Everyone crowds around, Randomactzz grabs Wentil and Pentatonic by their hands and leads them to the front, she then leans in and whispers in their ears. Randomactzz then steps in front of everyone and pretends to hold a camera and whirls it around. Some audience members respond with a shout "MOVIE", Most yawn and act bored, Someone shouts "YAWN" and everyone laughs. Randomactzz ignores them and continues, She begins pacing between Pentatonic and Wentil, who are now pretending to be sitting up straight writing. Randomactzz stops pacing and pretends to read Pentatonic's work, She then pretends to be really angry and starts slapping a ruler on her hand while shaking a finger at him. Everyone in the crowd leans forward, They know which movie this is, They dont say because they don't want to interupt the show. Randomactzz, Wentil and Pentatonic all undress and Pentatonic lies on his back, leaning back holding his butte in the air, using his fingers he opens his buttehole just as Randomactzz squats over him. A long slender poo-dong slides from her buttehole and then snaps off, it falls and most of it falls into Pentatonic's open buttehole, What doesnt go in, slumps over the edge of the buttehole. Wentil leans in and begins licking the poo-dong and uses his tongue to push the rest of the poo-dong into the buttehole of Pentatonic. Everyone in the crowd is now really into it, engrossed by the display before them, They start to play with their dongs and some even grab other's dongs to play with. The trio continue, Pentatonic then lets his buttehole close as Wentil lies on his back with his butte in the air, he then spreads open his own buttehole, Pentatonic then positions himself over Wentil and releases, Randomactzz poo-dong slides out Pentatonic's butte and falls straight into Wentil's open buttehole. It is followed by two smaller poo-dongs of his own, the last a little wetter than the others splashes around Wentil's buttehole and some runs down Wentil's body till it reaches his chest. Randomactzz now lies on her back and butte high in the air, spreads her buttehole. Wentil positions himself over Ramdomactzz and with a strain pushes a sloppy remanants of a poo-dong out and it splashes all around Randomactzz buttehole, shortly followed by two intact poo-dongs, They land in the buttehole and are followed by a flood of mushy poo which runs all over Randomactzz covering her, running all down her body. Wetil and Pentatonic begin licking the poo around the buttehole and smear there faces all over Randomactzz butte, Wentil and Pentatonic then lean towards each other and flick their tongues together as Randomactzz squeezes spraying them with poo. Wentil and Pentatonic then vomit into each others mouth and the vomit and dripping poo falls down onto Randomactzz butte. They stand and begin rubbing each other with the mess and licking each other all over, Samar is really enjoying the show. Samar is leaning forward and doesnt notice his young squire Billy being led away by the hand by Rambar.

Rambar leads Billy by the hand back into the passageway past the body of the giant sperm. Billy asks "Are you sure there is candy out here?", Rambar nods "Of course there is !". Then Billy sees Exonic and Squink. Exonic grabs onto Billy and forces him to the ground, they all tear his clothes off and one by one remove their own. Billy is crying now "Please, No guys", Squink slaps him and says "You be quiet now". Billy quietly sobs to himself as Rambar forces him onto all fours, Exonic then casually strolls behind Billy and roughly slides his rockhard dong into Billy's buttehole. Billy cries out in pain, Squink responds by kicking Billy in the stomach, Billy continues quietly sobbing to himself. Exonic thrusts very quickly and then pulls out his dong, he rubs it a few times as Squink leans down and Exonic shoots a load of man-goo onto Squink's face. Squink without even wiping the man-goo from his face, pushes Exonic to the side and slides his rockhard dong roughly into Billy's buttehole. Billy cries out in pain once more, Squink slaps Billy's buttecheek and says "Quiet down you !". Rambar now lifts Billy's head and slides his rockhard dong into the mouth of Billy, Billy's scream is muffled by the dong sliding into his mouth. Rambar and Squink thrust deeply as Billy struggles against them, Exonic has sat down and is watching, tweaking his nipples. "What are you doing ?" A voice comes from behind them, they turn to see Samar looking on restraining his anger, "We are almost finished" Squink says. Samar overcome by rage pushes Squink to the ground and slaps Rambar on the face. The three of them gather there clothes and run back to the room, As Billy leaps onto Samar still sobbing, they embrace for a while before kissing passionately, Billy helps Samar undress then begins to give Samar a long slow blowjob, Samar after a while shoots a load of dorf-goo onto Billy's face. Then Samar begins sucking on Billy's nipples and kisses his way down to Billy's dong returning the favour. Billy quickly explodes into Samar's mouth, then Samar rises and they kiss passionately once more. They dress and head back into the room, The room is mostly quiet now with most sleeping, A few are quietly chatting amongst themselves. Jargadax who never sleeps is watching guard. Samar and Billy lie down on the floor, spooning each other trying to get some rest before the looming battle.

PART 12

Thwoompa wakes with a start, The makeshift camp around him is in high gear, Everyone is preparing and checking their equipment. Thwoompa gets up and retrieves a bowl and fills it with the breakfast of champions, Bacon. After eating almost his body weight in bacon, Thwoompa slumps to the ground and begins to snooze again. He is woken by Jargadax speaking near the path leading beyond "Members of What, We have come so far and braved so much. Now our adventure is coming to an end, Who knows what horrors we will face further down this passage. I want you all to know I LOVE YOU, in the butte !" Everyone cheers. Jargadax continues "We must proceed from here quietly, We do not wish to alert Dongzilla to our presence, Once we find him we will study him for a while, Find a weakness then plan our course of attack". Everyone nods in agreement. With that the begin to progress further down the passageway, They travel for quite some time, occasionally passing rooms filled with books and arcane magic devices. Everyone remains quiet, out of duty to the cause and partly out of fear. Eventually the passage opens out into a large cavern, At the far end is a large elegant tiled area, Above it the roof appears to burn with the same blue etheral flame. Jargadax raises his hand, signaling everyone to stop.

Everyone sneaks about trying to get a look at whats ahead, Everyone's jaw drops open and they stare. Before them is a huge dong, it almost reaches the blue flames in the ceiling. "This must be Dongzilla, stick to our plan" Jargadax whispers. They begin watching and cannot tell if it awake or asleep, it does not move. Kyrogh walks to the front and shouts "HAI GUYZ, THIS IS BORING, LETS JUST ATTACK". Dongzilla begins to move using it's oversized coinpurse to shuffle along the floor towards the adventurers, the adventurers except Kyrogh all slap their palms on their faces and let out a collective groan. Jargadax springs into action and shouts "OK GUYS, THIS IS HOW WE DO THIS FIGHT OK. HEALERS YOU GUYS STAND HERE AND HEAL AND THEN SOMEONE PUT HATE TRANSFER ON SOMEONE AND THEN OSTER OFFTANK AND LINEN STAND OVER HERE AND THEN CAST THIS SPELL AND DON'T PUT ON HATE TRANSFER". Dongzilla shudders and shouts back "YOU KNOW I CAN HEAR YOU, YOU WERE FOOLISH TO COME HERE, I WILL DESTROY YOU. I AM THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA". Dongzilla than sprays the adventurers with dong-goo, It covers them and hardens quickly, holding the adventurers in place. Everyone struggles against the dong-goo, Some manage to free their hands and draw the their weapons, just as dongzilla begins to spew hundreds of large flying sperms at them, The same as they encountered outside. Those adventurers who can fight repel the sperms as best as they can, some unable to free themselves from the dong-goo are bitten by the large sperms. Jargadax with one arm free is flailing around his dong-sword as fast as he can, barely holding back the attack of flying sperms, He is bitten and blood is gushing from his wounds, He shouts "OH SHIT HEAL ME YOU FUCKERS HEAL HEAL HEAL", Thwoompa begins casting a dong-bolt of lighting, Jargadax shouts again "WHY DID YOU DO THAT, OH CRAP, CELESTINA FAST HEAL ME MORE". Dongzilla lunges forward and with his giant eye, covers Jargadax from the waist up, then lifts back upright, Jargadax's legs can be seen sticking out of the eye of Dongzilla. Dongzilla begins lashing about trying to swallow Jargadax, He begins bashing himself into the ground, crushing adventurers four or five at a time. Kronico dressed in his dorf sailor suit has an idea, he begins to howl. A wolf companion comes running in and begins to eat the dong-goo around Kronico's crutch, once his dong is exposed it turns and backs itself onto Kroniko's dong, Kroniko moans and thrusts as much as he can still pinned by the dong-goo, The wolf is forcing himself onto Kroniko's dong, sliding back and forwards. Kroniko with a moan begins to shudder, The wolf then races forward and bites Dongzilla's coinpurse making an opening, He then slides out his lipstick dong and mounts Dongzilla, humping with all his might. The wolf howls and thrown to the ground, Kroniko cheers and shouts "I HAVE DONE IT, I GAVE DONGZILLA AIDS, WOOHOO". With that Facekick frees himself and leaps into action, He kicks Kroniko in the face and shouts "YOU IDIOT, DONT YOU KNOW AIDS TAKES AGES TO KILL, WE NEED DONGZILLA DEAD NOW". Dongzilla slams himself down again, crushing the two of them and Kroniko's wolf.

Thwoompa looks around, only he remains, Jargadax is still trying to be swallowed by Dongzilla. Jargadax manages to turn, His head and one arm sticking out of the eye of Dongzilla. He shouts "THWOOMPA FOR THE LOVE OF JEBU, HEAL HEAL HEAL". Thwoompa lowers his head and cries, He knows it is all lost now, This is What's end, Through the tears he says "It never works, why should I try !". He focuses on Jargadax and begins to channel a heal, trying and straining, it fizzles. Not to be detered he tries again, he shakes with the strain and closes his eyes. He opens his eyes just in time to see etheral forms swarming around him, He recognises the ghosts of What's past and a smile adorns his face before his face becomes emotionless and he falls backwards unconscious. The etheral forms continue swarming around Thwoompa and a huge etheral wave radiates from him, The dong-goo covering the adventurers is pushed away and sprays all over the walls and the remaining flying sperms are also forced back into the wall where they drop lifelessly to the ground. Jargadax loses his battle and is swallowed by Dongzilla, just as a flock of green spectral birds fly in raising all of the adventurers to their feet. A loud cheer erupts. Jargadax slides down the shaft of Dongzilla, he is fighting for every breath till he drops, he lands on a fleshy cushion and before he has even regained his bearings, He is set upon by hundreds of flying sperms of all different sizes. He slashes with his dong-sword and slaughters most of the first wave, The second wave of sperms are also knocked down except one small sperm which slips past Jargadax's defences, It chews on his dong, Till he slaps it away. Jargadax then turns his dong-sword on the walls of the coinpurse, Making an opening, He begins to squeeze through and shouts "MORE DPS, FASTER GUYS, COME ON, DPS YOU FUCKERS". With that all of What charges forward and begins their attack, Jargadax slides out of the huge coinpurse and followed closely by the sperms he was previously fighting. He regains his footing and begins to swat at the flying sperms pouring from the hole in the coinpurse. He is joined by other members of What and they continue slaughtering the flying sperms for what seems like an eternity until no more emerge. The brave adventurers then tunr their attack on Dongzilla, beating and clubbing at the monstrosity, Some members of What throw their weapons to the side and leap onto the beast, Biting and clawing. Dongzilla shouts "WHAT IS THIS, I CANNOT BE BEATEN BY THESE INSECTS !" The blue etheral flame from the roof begins to swirl around and around and the centre lowers and it begins to burn Dongzilla, he once again shouts "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !". What members jump out of the way to avoid the falling giant dong-shaft, it lands with a thud and dong-goo runs from the end. The blue etheral flame extinguishes and the area is plunged into darkness.

Jargadax shouts into the darkness "OH HEY, WE WON" Everyone begins laughing. A bright white light illuminates beyond the body of Dongzilla and quickly fills the room, Everyone shields their eyes as best they can. The light eventually stabilizes illuminating the area. Everyone begins hugging and cheering, they look beyond the body of Dongzilla and notice a staircase leading down. Jargadax finds Thwoompa's unconscious body and lifts him carrying him down the stairs. Thwoompa awakes to find ' The Bonn ' sliding his slimy frog-dong on his face, Thwoompa quickly slides the slimy frog-dong into his mouth but ' The Bonn ' backs away, revealing a marble pedestal upon which rests THE GOLDEN DONG, Thwoompa gasps the coinpurse of THE GOLDEN DONG is adorned with jewels but the shaft is 12 inches long and pure gold in colour. "It's beautiful" he exclaims. He then looks around the room, it is filled with treasures, The members of What are jumping up and down with glee looking through their new shiny toys. Thwoompa grips the shaft of THE GOLDEN DONG and holds it high, hoisted even higher by Jargadax. Everyone cheers.

PART 13

What drop the last crate in the middle of the guild hall, all the crates are overflowing with treasure. Everyone sits down and begins to chat, resting after the grand unloading from the ship that brought them back to Qeynos. Thwoompa is still gripping THE GOLDEN DONG and staring at it, Admiring it. He wanders out of the guild hall, noone notices. Some are standing starting to unload the boxes. Large chains are taken out and hung from the roof, at the end are shackles. Fake dongs of all different shapes,sizes and colours are unpacked and lined on shelves. Huge machines with fake dongs sticking out from them and winding handles are assembled, Zorl twirls one of the handles and the fake dongs shake, Zorl whistles "I want first go on this". Eldist begins to wind the hadle as Zorl slides one of the fake dongs into his buttehole, he moans with pleasure. Eldist continues winding the handle faster and faster, Zorl moans faster and faster and then screams "OH BOY !" Eldist doesn't waste a second and dives to his kness in front of Zorl. Zorl's dong shakes and BAM he shoots a load of ogre-goo into Eldist's open mouth. BAM Zorl shoots another load and it lands on Eldist's cheek, Eldist wipes it with his finger then holds his finger out to Zorl. Zorl slides the fake dong from his buttehole and licks Eldist's finger. Zorl then helps Eldist to his feet and licks his eyeball, after flicking tongues briefly they engage in a long passionate kiss. Eldist pulls back and says "It's my turn now" and walks over to the shackles held by chains from the roof, he is so excited he clips the first shackle around his own hand. Zorl slaps his dong and says "You have been bad ! Thats my job" as he reaches for the other shackle and wraps it around Eldist's free hand. Eldist cries out in pleasure and pain, Zorl likes this sound and retrieves a long whip from one of the nearby crates. He whips Eldist on the back and screams "You filthy little animal, You like this don't you !", Eldist moans in response. Zorl next reaches into a crate and grabs a small paddle, with spikes on one side. He first uses the unspiked side and spanks Eldist, each whack illicits a small cry and a moan from Eldist. Zorl turns around the paddle to the spiky side and whacks Eldist with all his might on the butte, Tears stream down Eldist's face over his beaming smile. Zorl walks to the front of Eldist and gets down on his knees, he begins to slap his dong form side to side with both hands. Then Zorl leans in and with his teeth starts to gnaw on his dong. Eldist shaking with desire moans loudly, He stops shaking just as BAM he shoots a load of goo into Zorl's mouth. Zorl dribbles it down his chin then stands, Eldist leans against the shackles and licks his chin then all around his mouth as they begin kissing passionately once more. Zorl then un-shackles Eldist and once more walks to a nearby crate, He retrieves a black leather spiked collar and a long black cord. Eldist kneels and Zorl attaches it around his neck, Eldist then gets on all fours and Zorl kicks him. They begin walking around the guild hall.

Eldist is leading Zorl by the collar and lead, They walk past Calodram who is unpacking a large item from one of the crates. Calodram sits the large object on the ground with a strain of effort. He then lies it down and stands back to admire it. It is a large rubber replica of a fullsize ogre, It has an inviting mouth and anus, always open for business, It also has a six inch dong roughly as wide as it is long. Calodram licks his lips, while he undresses, he then straddles the rubber ogre and slides the dong into his buttehole, He moans with delight. Calodram leans down and licks the open mouth of the rubber ogre and whispers "Give it to me good daddy !" He bobs up and down on the rubber dong, a slurping sound accompanies every downward push by Calodram. He rolls off of the ruber ogre dong and on all fours begins to lick and suck on the now brown rubber ogre dong. Eldist leads Zorl back towards Calodram, He sniffs him from behind then begins licking the buttehole, He then mounts him from behind. As Eldist slides his dong into Calodram's buttehole, Calodram arches up and lets out a moan. Zorl wants to join in the fun, he pulls on Eldists leesh and walks around picking up the rubber ogre, he puts it on all fours then slides his dong into it's mouth, a sound like a scream is heard as the dong is forced into the mouth of the emotionless rubber ogre. Calodram slides his dong into the anus of the rubber ogre and they begin thrusting simultaniously, both moaning and sweating. Eldist buries his face between the buttecheeks of the real ogre Zorl just as Zorl farts, a small poo-dong slides out and Eldist works it around Zorl's buttehole with his tongue. Zorl and Calodram are starring into each others eyes, they each let go with one hand and give each other a high five. They then arch back in unison and BAM BAM both shoot loads of goo onto the back of the rubber ogre. Zorl tugs on the leesh and pulls Eldist down to the Ogres back, Eldist with poo on his lips begins to lap at the now combined pile of goo on the ogres back. Zorl turns around and launches three mushie poo-dongs onto the back of Eldists head, As Eldist stands both Zorl and Calodram begin to rub the poo from the back of his head onto each other. They then start taking turns kissing each other when the door of the guild hall opens with a bang.

Everyone in the hall turns towards the door as Wilan strolls in, hand in hand with another half-man. Wilan shouts "DID YA'S MISS ME?" Everyone cheers. All of the ghosts of Whats past walk into the room and are surrounded by the members of What. Last to stroll in is Aegius, He is walking backwards holding Thwoompa in the air, Thwoompa's dong is in his mouth, Thwoompa is directing him into the room. Once everyone is in the hall, people start hugging and passionately kissing, When the merriment dies down. Wilan begins to speak "You all make me proud, You done the impossible and slayed Dongzilla, You freed all of us from the other world and we can once again adventure together!" The crowd cheers, Frohike says "Who is this other half-man?". Wilan responds "Thats Aegius !", Frohike slaps his forehead and says "The OTHER one !". Wilan giggles and says with a smile "This is my brother, Dharman. We were seperated at birth and I never knew he existed until we met in the other world" With that Wilan pulls Dharman close to him and they kiss passionately. Wilan kisses down Dharman's neck, lifts his shirt and begins to suck on his nipples. Dharman moans as Wilan's continues down and with one swift motion pulls down the pants of Dharman, He slides Dharman's dong in and out of his mouth, until he springs back startled "What am I doing ?" He shakes his head "This can wait till later ! Everyone Let's man-train through the streets of Qeynos to celebrate us all being back together !". Everyone cheers, when the cheering dies down, sobbing can be heard from the back of the crowd. The crowd parts and WIlan looks on to see Askeebe and Annakie holding each other crying into each others shoulders, "Whats Wrong ?" He asks, Askeebe between sniffles blurts out "We have no dongs, How can we join the man-train !" Annakie and Askeebe then lean into each other and cry harder. Wilan without a word walks past them and retrieves a few strap-on dongs, he throws them to the girls of What. Askeebe and Annakie smile though the tears. Wilan then shouts "WELL WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR WHAT !". Everyone cheers as they begin undressing, noone is wearing any clothes except for Crevice, so proud of his cap of writhing dongs. Everyone puts on their cloaks powered by green seahorses floating in a pink sea surrounded by purple stars, Wilan faces the door as Dharman slides his dong into Wilan's buttehole. Thwoompa leaps up and slides his dong into Dharman's buttehole, Annakie now smiling slides her fake dong into Thwoompa's buttehole and giggles "This is a great idea !".

Wilan leads the procession through the streets of Qeynos, The longest man-train Norath has ever seen, They thrust into each other and the enchanters shoot multicoloured explosions into the sky from their hands. Citizens and tourists of Qeynos stop what they are doing and start to clap and cheer, following the man-train. Some of the audience start to play with their dongs from the erotic display, they follow the epic man-train to the town square. Wilan leads the epic man-trian around in a large spiral and once the spiral has wrapped around and they are all bunched up shouts "WHAT !" with that everyone simultaniously pulls out their dongs and BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM they begin to spray goo all over each other. The members of What then collapse into a large pile and begin laughing and spooning each other, The crowd overwhelmed by this display start shuddering and playing with their dongs until BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM they also shoot their loads of goo onto the pile of adventurers. WIlan shouts "NOW THATS WHAT I CALL A HAPPY ENDING". Everyone laughs.

Cyvan

I'm randomly inserting this passage into my term paper

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-Louis C.K. Rox my Sox
-Fun with a girl
-Chewed up

valnas

wow. thats really twisted. you had me at "boil popped - HOT i'll use it as lube".

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Love is on Lockdown

Holyhands

Yeah thats when i stopped reading the shit lol

Talos

Way too much time on your hands.. I would consider going into the sunlight from time to time and actually doing something other than creating massive walls of text and torturing us all with your roleplaying abilities.

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Popular vote says you suck.
Fimek - 80 Templar - Retired
Barixxes - 80 Paladin - Retired

Vainamoinen

Butte:

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I AM JUST A WORTHLESS LIAR

Southernn

o.0

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"It is not the strongest species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the ones most responsive to change."
- Charles Darwin

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams"
- Dr. Seuss

Holyhands

I read a couple random paragraphs and now understand why "what"'s cloak is pink. I think you should request a rainbow colored one.

tewdrig

I loved every minute of it, and I eagerly await the completion of the sequel, THE GOLDEN DONG 2: DONG HARDER.

Thwoompa

I wish, Hopefully SOE will add one for us eventually.