Musical Mages a’Mass
"V" For Vagadetta
March 3, 2007, an unknown guild dings 20 and the obligatory congratulations are offered in 60 chat. A member of Revelations types /w all "Vendetta" to check out this guild and a brick is throughly shat.
"Unrest has built sort of a trend. Everything that happens in it has happened in some movie or t.v. show somewhere. But all movies are boring, predictable and generally suck," stated Rawk.
Sources prove this theme, but in doing so have noticed another disturbing trend: Musicals.
The problem wasn’t apparently until, after being baited into claiming he was Game Magic, The Vuz was squashed under a house. This information was delivered by the Wicked Witch of the West, his alt. All the little munchkin people below "Revelations" rejoiced in song that went."Ding-Dong! The Vuz is dead. Which dumb Vuz? The Lena Vuz!/ Ding-Dong! The Wicked Vuz is dead.// Wake up - sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed./Wake up, the Wicked Vuz is dead. He’s gone where the goblins go,/Below - Below - Below (To Hell-o) let’s open up and sing and ring the bells out./Ding Dong’ the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low./Let them know the Wicked Vuz is dead!"
Before the Dorothy’s could strap on the ruby slippers, he was back and filled with more innuendo than "Wicked."
One wizard of song started fiddling with farming and began notoriously singing from rooftop, "Ya ba dee be dee bee dee. All day long I would bee dee bee dee bum, bee dee bee dee bum...." Our Korean translators are working on a more complete translation. It has also been reported that "Snowangel" has begun a Stefani’esc bazardization of that song.
A chorus of players began singing the finale from Pippin to Cinadien. The song is used as a persuasive device when they wish to watch him be lit on fire and run around screaming. "Think about the sun. Think about your life Cinadien, think about those dreams you had. Think about the moment that’s SO close at Holyhand."
Enlightened Dark wins the coveted "Cats" reference. Their McDonald’s super sized raiding roster might only include one kerra raider, but they fit perfectly in that no one has seen it, but they hear it’s really famous.
Nightcap took up the title for "Godspell" after their millionth wipe in FTH from the opening line. "Wherefore, o men of Norrath, we say to you: Therefore, acquit us or not, but whichever you choose, we will never alter our ways, never adjust our approach to this maze, never reform to the end of our days, even if we have to die many times." They then began to run around in circles throwing things and babeling.
A slightly more obscure reference gets handed off to Paradigm. "What about dreams that you promised were true? What about you Para? What about you?" This comes from Brown’s "The Last 5 Years" which plays toward Paradigm more in that it is the story of a failing marriage an affair with a co-worker and separation anxiety.
Five Rings was cast in the role of Les Miserables. While the similarities should be blinding obvious for all but the most lackluster of wit in name alone, it should also be pointed out that Cossette was not only from illegitimate parenting, but also female.
Our phantoms interviewed "skat man" in a Five Rings TeamSpeak channel who declined to comment on what musical he was farcing, but other than zehlout jousts at "Fuck you Jazmyn" and other such interesting log-in names penetrating in-and-out, he/she declined comment and wouldn’t therein explain exactly what ‘they’ were doing in someone else’s server. Perhaps it’s the TS server than causes the silence.
Yet, a revolution is coming. Formerly retired paladin, phovucer who has chosen to go by the name Hollywood, has decided that being a beggar on the street wasn’t glamourous and, seeing the server so pathetic, has decided to take action movie.....?.
"People think all I do is bitch and moan on the forums. People shouldn’t be afraid of their guilds, their guilds should be afraid of me," commented Hollywood.
Joined by rawk singer, former Vagabond and colleague flamer, they intend to blow up not only the administration, but the charity that distributed the virus that has made the server so weak. A press release from the local charity stated, "LOOK AT US! We’re on top biatches! Nothing can stop us!"
Rawk stated that their press released failed to mention fears that many of their staff might be fed up with their jobs and looking to take another look at what it means to be "hardcore."
"We’re back, and we’re bringing it biatches!"
-Tsuf Potshotatu and Foxxxxxxxy Skunks (Staff Writers)
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Letters to the editor<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Dear Editor,
What do you hope to accomplish with the Unrest Today? Why do you write it? Who are you? Anonymous Patron
Dear Patron,
I’m going to address your questions in reverse order. I am someone of multiple personalities. I am very upset with who my community is, when I have to check my back before I go to sleep at night and make sure there isn’t an encumbering dagger lodged in it. I am multiple level 70's on the server, and multiple people scattered through-out the 20's to 60's that have just started to come into view of the long trek ahead that leads into the cruel world we’ve created. Like you I prefer to remain anonymous for other reasons. It allows me to see the server in an way I could not otherwise, while allowing me a channel to vent my anger. Plus, I get a kick out of the anonymousness for now.
I merely edit it. The writers get their individual credits.
I hope through humor and a pointed recognition of what I see us doing wrong, we might be willing to quit being so arrogant and mean. I suppose many flame to kill other people’s pride. But I’m attacking it all. Even my own guild. I do this in hopes that we will see ourselves through the other people’s eyes and just lighten up.
>>>>>>>>>>>>Employment<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Editor’s Note: We are currently hiring some more staff. My general manager has asked us to place a copy of the application into this edition along with our contact information. As a personal note, I highly recommend everyone at least answer these questions to themselves, since it is a journalistic application, it tests some things you might not normally be asked on most applications.
Name: (If you don’t know this one, give up immediately.)
Intelligence Quotient: (
http://getstupid.biz/ignorance.html If you’re IQ is less than 90 don’t bother, if by using the aforementioned test you get higher than 90, don’t bother.)
Are you a nihilist?
If yes, explain what Nihilism means to you:
Are you even a player on the Unrest server?
If no, explain what you could possibly bring to the table:
What about this server upsets you the most?
What do you do about it? (Note, intentions not asked.)
Can you make up an original joke about someone off the top of your head? (ORIGINAL)
Neither can we, how does our paper disguise that fact?
Can you understand these references:
"Each of the Unrest flamers sat 20k below, aboard their own Nautilus, hating each other."
"The GM’s are Victor, and we’re all his personal progeny or abominations!"
Please offer us a sample of a story you’ve written:
>>>>>>>>>>>>>CONTACT INFORMATION<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Unrest_Today_Editors_Desk@Hotmail.com
What to send: Tips, leads and noteworthy facts for the next edition, mistakes in either grammar or fact-checking, questions for the advice column or letters-to-the-editor.
What not to send: Anything that if posted would violate the terms of the eq2flames.com terms of agreement. Anything that bores the desk clerks, I will not do their job if they fall asleep. Any flames against this institution or wherein it is posted, please confine that to the wherein that it belongs. Spam of any sorts or advertising.
Sources will be kept anonymous with the journalistic shield rules but please state exactly who you are that the staff may determine the verify ability of any information revealed.
Unrest Today - Sunday Short Edition
