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Unrest Today Volume 1 Edition 4
Our Best Week Ever
-Newbville versus the Lawn Gnome Liberation Front
A worker sticks his feelers in a pile of crap in front of him, new orders from Queen Cinadien, move to PHH spawn point. Unswervingly it obeys to come to the spot of much death and sorrow.
They pull and wipe moments later, not much has changed.... or has it? A pull - 10% and Trajja has the trusted teddy bear out and thumb stuck in mouth, practicing. Falconclaw and Anneka rip the remains from their prey and carry it back to the hive. The question on everyone’s mind, what has changed.
A drone hereafter referred to as Dr. Phil for his good humored inquisitions recently returned to the administration to mate with the Queen and upon arriving at the hive found some of the spawn to be lacking.
So he called up his old army buddy to lead with a can of raid and cut the fat from the roster. This leads to the slightly obvious play on the word slim and Glim, unfortunately LFG already posted a Jenny Craig joke so nothing surprisingly funny here.
Dr. Phil stated, "I would’ve kicked you too, and a hell of a lot sooner than you were," to a former Cina Mind Drone.
While information was nearly unknown about what else the raid leader’s new cuts were, a mention was given to the lackluster of a wizard or enchanter. Experts say that people criticize what they don’t have to feel okay with not having it.
So what about the enchanter Or as some would argue the wizard. Could they have moved onto greener pastures? While we wait for the 7 other votes to come in, our former buckler of swashes, now a executive producer in the film industry argues, "We all agree they all suck, no one is denying that," and then thinly veiled that he was not included in ‘they’ with a prompt change in his avatar guild tag.
Taking a page out of the Five Rings play book, Enlightened Dark made some cuts and raid leader changes. While the new raid leader is yet unannounced, it can only be assumed that he/she is doing okay with a Treyloth kill and prompt failure to spawn Malkonis on the suddenly updated guild website the day after Celer’s statement projection of three new members. However Enlightened Dark did not suddenly start talking as Five Rings did after success and there is no mention if this was a first time kill or not.
Which puts the attention back to Vendetta and their "slow recruitment process." Two swashbucklers? Perhaps Meridian is scaring the Revelations children from jumping ship and moving over.
Yet the hardcore of Revelations take their notes from Celer, defending their guild to the tooth one minute and turning traitor the next. A call to Dr. Phil from someone claiming to be The Vuz stated something to the effect, "My guild is just casual, it just can’t cut it. If you get uber l00ts from a contested, I’ll pay 400 platinum for it!" We have refrained from a direct quote whereas the story was related to us from a friend of a friend and the person confirmed to be The Vuz stated in public forum, "Why the hell would I leave the best guild on the server?"{sic} We all know that people are truthful in public statements and would never lie to protect their reputation.
Furthermore, it is a well known fact that anyone that has ever had a pair of balls to scratch does not like Dr. Phil’s remedial lessons in tough love. The feeling is shared amongst non-men as well as evident when not even Leorra will take a teabag joke from him.
Editor’s Note: This story was printed in submission from a non-affiliated source. It is not the opinion of this paper that Vendetta is bad in any way, shape, or form and we would like to state that we do not play favorites. If it seems like it, it is because a guild has worked to become the source of more positive information than another. Shortly we expect to see Vendetta’s name as the strongly favored source of positive, so long as they take my application. If not, then the bastards will rot in hell from the flames I shall put up about them.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>FROM THE EDITOR’S DESK<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
The Spam I Am
-Trading self respect for an ounce of peace
What is the most effective way to fight fire? While most of us agree pouring gasoline is detrimental to the effort, our field agents wanted to investigate the cliche of fighting it with fire.
The first case goes to Vukota. "YOU FUCKING NEWBS! NO BODY FUCKING CRAES WHAT YOU KSILLED!"{sic} A rant lasting nearly 5 hours across multiple disembodies opponents ensued.
"I know I told people to not post here because, only you pathetic fucks that post here regularly... are the only ones that GIVE A FLYING FUCK about who is more uber."
He backs it up with a 2 post count and guild of people laughing and trolling the boards.......
As the case may be, we do give a flying fuck here at Unrest Today about who is more uber. It is fun to poke fun at all the people that think so highly of themselves and strive so hard to hurt the feelings of anyone inferior or superior to them.
Vukota, did your mother smoke crack while you were in the womb?
In our second case we examine the UT staff.
One writer stated, "Sorry guys, but I simply do not like to wax eloquent. Nor am I much for mystery and guise. And if I indeed was the unrest editor, I simply would not make so many grammatical mistakes."
The phrase should have been, "....and guise; if indeed I were the Unrest Editor,...." There’s so much hypocrisy the staff is starting to feel like an Emo kid being stared at in church. We flame because we hate how horrible of people you all are for flaming.
Speaking of church, Revelations was living up to their charitable if not biblical name when they jumped at the three princes like a priest in a choirboy changing room while Five Rings was putting up in Emerald Halls. That isn’t relevant to this rant, but it solidifies the point of hypocrisy on the server. We hate religious based jokes, we hate flaming and we hate the underhanded dealings everyone desperately uses to gain attention.
We applaud Thurdarr for sticking to his guns and not proving how much of a douche bag he is via hypocrisy. A quick perusal of his posts on this and other websites failed to yeild any John Kerry’istic flip-flopping.
This is juxtaposed to Core’s Hilary Clinton impersonation. They were in the hot seat once, they want to be there again, but they just don’t have the balls, or dps, to do it, quite frankly, they are so ugly we can see why Bill would go to Monica.
Celer left Nightcap so there is nothing bad to say about that guild. However there is now reason to believe that the "madness" afflicting Celer is bi-polarism. It cannot be ascertained at this time as to whom Celer is loyal, but if a real guild from a real server transferred here, you can rest assured Vendetta will curing for swash debuffs.
Ashmoria flamed that people hate for stupid reasons yet went about and made fun of Astwat in much the same manner we bastardize our grammar to flame people in a meaningless way, "Thanks for helping to prove my point ‘twat."
'Twat is a hypocrite when he states, "I agree, anon posters are god damn bitches," and then proceeded to flame Vukota in 60 chat for a good fifteen minutes while the helpless guild leader begged, "What guild are you in? Who are you?" Who are you indeed? Another minion of Hollywood, brought here to prove Darwin wrong?
If not God or Darwin, what faith shall we follow?
The answer should be each other - people. That while a celestial being of judgement may or may not exist, it shouldn’t be the only reason to be good to one other. Pascal would be vindicated if he read the filth spewed from the sewers of our self-proclaimed mouths.
Which leads to this, everyone can and will prove their hypocrisy in their cruel, petty and spiteful manner. Unrest is just filled with horrible, horrible people.
While I do not permit my staff to smoke joints while on the premises nor wear their hair long, attend Woodstock or drive a Wolkswagon bus with bubbles and flowers painted on it, I too tend to favor the make love not war ideology, albeit the intercourse jokes are a bit much sometimes. Before you do anything, just ask yourself, "Am I helping, or hurting?" and if you still don’t know if you should do it or not, do it. If people flame you, you were hurting and you were wrong.
Last edited by Unresteditor; 03-17-2007 at 06:10 AM.
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